The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 22 Episode 5: "Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life" Quotes
That school is so great. Teachers teach so much better when they're paid in money and not chickens.
Bart: You punch really good
Nelson: You think?
Bart: Oh yeah and you always avoid the face around picture day. People really appreciate that.
Nelson: Hey, those memories are forever.
Bart: You really care man. A lot of bullies just phone it in. *cough* Kearney *cough*
Lisa: I'll study so hard I'll make the old me look like Bart.
Homer: That'd be one weird looking kid.
Lord Buddha, I know I'm not supposed to want stuff, but come on!
Bart: What's your note say?
Lisa: The seven of clubs?
Homer: Tada!
Principal Skinner: You yell at me for everything.
Superintendent Chalmers: Well I cant yell at anyone else. Teachers have unions. Students have parents.
Principal Skinner: What about Willie?
Superintendent Chalmers: I like Willie.
Lisa, one of the hardest jobs I have is throwing cold water on young children's dreams. Ralph, you're not a kangaroo.
Principal Skinner
Buying trophies from those cash-strapped schools really filled out the case.
Principal Skinner
Lisa: Someday when I'm a grownup, maybe I'll go back and look fondly at our house.
Bart: Well stop in and say hi to me because I'll still be there chilling in my basement bachelor pad.
Homer: Make sure to water my backyard grave.
Bart: As long as I can dig you up and stick you on the front porch every Halloween.
Homer: Just don't dress me up as a woman.
Bart: We'll see.
Selma: What a cheap date.
Moe: I'm not cheap baby. I'm embarrassed to be seen with you. There's a big difference.
No child of mine will go without anything. Ever. Except quality health care.
Homer
Mousy and Catsy! Aren't they great?
Krusty
