The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 5 Episode 14: "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy" Quotes
Don't ask me! I'm just a girl! Hee hee hee! Hee hee hee!
Malibu Stacy Doll
Without further ado, I give you the man who puts young people behind bars, where they belong, TV's 'Matlock'.
Dr. Hibbert
Grampa: Why are you people avoiding me? Does my withered face remind you of the grim specter of Death?
Homer: Yes, but there's more. Dad, I love you, but...you're a weird, sore-headed old crank and nobody likes you!
Lisa: Don't any of you notice something wrong with what Malibu Stacy says?
Girl: There's something wrong with what my Malibu Stacy says... (pulls string)
Malibu Stacy Doll: My spidey-sense is tingling - anyone call for a web slinger?
Hello...Smithers. You're quite good...at turning me on
</i> Mr. Burns
Do we sell... French... fries?
Grampa
Lisa: It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you.
Grampa: It's rotten being old. No one listens to you.
Homer: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are!
Lisa: Mom! We could go on the factory tour and I could complain in person!
Marge: Honey, you're not going to throw red paint at the executives, are you? The Keebler people were very upset.
Lisa: It's not funny, Bart. Millions of girls will grow up thinking that this is the right way to act; that they can never be more than vacuous ninnies whose only goal is to look pretty, land a rich husband, and spend all day on the phone with their equally vacuous friends talking about how damn terrific it is to look pretty and have a rich husband!
Bart: Just what I was going to say.
Looking at that tired old freak has made me realize I'm no spring chicken myself. I can feel death's clammy hand on my shoulder. Wait, that's my hand.
Grampa
Marge: Now let's talk this over a nice big bowl of strawberry ice cream.
(Lisa pulls the doll's string)
Malibu Stacy Doll: Now let's talk this over with a nice big bowl of strawberry ice cream!
Marge: Hmmmm....
Good night. Oh, and the President was arrested for murder. More on that tomorrow night. Or you could turn to another channel oh, do not turn to another channel.
Kent Brockman
