Mr. Burns: Thank you so much for visiting our plant, Dr. Kissinger.
Henry Kissinger: It was fun.
Smithers: We'll let you know if your glasses turn up.
Henry Kissinger: Uh...yes, well, I'm sure I left them in the car. (Thinking to himself) No one must know I dropped them in the toilet--not I, the man who drafted the Paris peace accord.

Captain McCallister: I'll need three ships and 50 stout men. We'll sail 'round the horn and return with spices and silk the likes of which ye have never seen.
Mr. Burns: We're building a casino!
Captain McCallister: Arrr...can you give me five minutes?

Robert Goulet: You from the casino?
Bart: I'm from a casino.
Robert Goulet: Close enough.

Lisa: Well, I know it sounds absurd. But I dreamed the Boogeyman was after me and he's...
Homer: Ahhh! Boogeyman! You nail all the doors and the windows; I'll go get the gun!

Gerry: Hello. I'm retired heavyweight boxer Gerry Cooney. Welcome to Mr. Burns' Casino! If there's anything I can do to make your visit more
enjoyable, please: just let me know.
Otto: Er, great. See ya!
Gerry: Uh, don't forget to apply for our V.I.P. Platinum Club for special discounts on
Otto: Hey! I said, bug off!
(Otto punches him in the jaw, and he collapses)

Smithers: Don't you think you've gambled enough?
Marge: No.
Smithers: Very well, ma'am. We're required to asked every 72 hours. Enjoy a free round of drinks.

Lisa: There's nothing to eat for breakfast.
Homer: You gotta improvise, Lisa. ClovesTom Collins' mixfrozen pie crust (he just give it a bite) Lets go for mom.

Wow, just like on TV.
(he trips over an ottoman. A studio audience begins to laugh)

Homer

Homer: Here's a card for you, James Bond.
James Bond: You gave me a Joker?!

Mr. Burns: (holding a miniature plane) We'll take the Spruce Goose. Hop in.
Smithers: But sure I
(Burns pulls out a gun)
Mr. Burns: I said hop in.

Robert Goulet: Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager.
Nelson: Your manager says for you shut up!
Robert Goulet: Vera said that?

Remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house because he was dressed like Santa Claus? Well, you have a gambling problem.

Homer

The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 10 Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Lisa: Dad, Mom said she'd be home to help me with my costume and she's not, and the geography pageant is tonight!
Homer: Lisa, your mom still loves you. It's just that she has a career now. She's a slot-jockey.