(to Lisa) It's always something, isn't it? First, I have to drive your pregnant mother to the hospital so she can give birth to you. Now this!

Homer

Joblessness is not just for philosophy majors anymore. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch.

Kent Brockman

Nevada makes my butt look big.

Lisa

Remember when I got caught stealing all those watches from Sears? Well, that's nothing because you have a gambling problem.

Homer

The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 10 Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Lisa: Dad, Mom said she'd be home to help me with my costume and she's not, and the geography pageant is tonight!
Homer: Lisa, your mom still loves you. It's just that she has a career now. She's a slot-jockey.