From now on the only witch in Lisa's life is which boy will marry her.

Marge

• Permalink: From now on the only witch in Lisa's life is which boy will marr...
• Added: November 30, 2009

Skinner: It will be featured in the fifth grade play of the Crucible.
Superintendent Chalmers: Good seats still available and by that I mean seats in the back where you can fall asleep.

• Permalink: It will be featured in the fifth grade play of the Crucible. G...
• Added: November 30, 2009

Are you sure? Because we've brought you a lot of flimsy cases. Like that goat we accused of income tax evasion.

Chief Wiggum

• Permalink: Are you sure? Because we've brought you a lot of flimsy cases. L...
• Added: November 30, 2009

Bart: Your honor, I'd like to enter something into the record.
Judge: Strangely, I'll allow it.
Bart: Ladies and gentlemen, I am a big dummy with a stupid job. I write down what other people say just like a big dummy would. Could the court reporter read that back?
Court Reporter: I'm a big dummy with a stupid job... hey!

• Permalink: Your honor, I'd like to enter something into the record. Stran...
• Added: November 30, 2009

Just as I feared, her Buddhism has led directly to witchcraft.

Flanders [about Lisa]

• Permalink: Just as I feared, her Buddhism has led directly to witchcraft.
• Added: November 30, 2009

Lisa: I am interested in learning more about Wicca. Are you a minority group as defined by Ivy League admissions?
Wiccan: Cornell and Dartmouth.

• Permalink: I am interested in learning more about Wicca. Are you a minorit...
• Added: November 30, 2009

I hate traffic, the band and the phenomenon.

Homer

• Permalink: I hate traffic, the band and the phenomenon.
• Added: November 30, 2009