You look like you're trying to eat me. Need some help?

Microsoft Paper Clip

• Permalink: You look like you're trying to eat me. Need some help?
• Added: December 22, 2010

Bart: Hey Lis, wanna touch Strangles? He's not slimy at all, he's scaly.
Lisa: (After touching the snake) Eww! He is slimy!
Bart: That's because I soaked him in slime!

• Permalink: Hey Lis, wanna touch Strangles? He's not slimy at all, he's scal...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Dad, why don't you throw me in the air and I can see which way is out? (he does) Corn. (again) More corn. (again) Another kid getting thrown in the air. (again) Witches' coven. (again) Seattle Space Needle. (again) Amateur production of You Can't Take It With You. (again) Oh, I'm getting dizzy. (again) And corn again.

</i> Lisa

• Permalink: Dad, why don't you throw me in the air and I can see which way i...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Oh man! It's like the chemicals cut one!

Bart

• Permalink: Oh man! It's like the chemicals cut one!
• Added: December 22, 2010

Judge Snyder: You stand accused of giving hope to scrawny young men. How do you plead?
Snake: Guilty of being innocent!
(Crowd laughs, Santa's Little Helper growls)

• Permalink: You stand accused of giving hope to scrawny young men. How do yo...
• Added: December 22, 2010

(to Santa's Little Helper) Nobody stays when you say freeze, you might as well say run.

Lou

• Permalink: Nobody stays when you say freeze, you might as well say run.
• Added: December 22, 2010

(to Cletus) You gave that hog a day of beauty and you give me nothing!

Brandine

• Permalink: You gave that hog a day of beauty and you give me nothing!
• Added: December 22, 2010

(lost in the corn maze)
Marge: Maybe we should split up.
Homer: Split up? Marge, no, we can fix this marriage!
Marge: No, no, I didn't mean--
Homer: Fine, you want out? Then go, I can make it on my own! Before I met you, I had friends and dreams!
Marge: I was talking about--
Homer: Oh, please take me back! (sobbing) The dating scene is a nightmare! I'm begging you!
Marge: I just meant we should split up to get out of this corn maze.
Homer: Deep down, I-- I guess I knew that.
Marge: Now, there must be a way out.
Homer: Of our marriage? I don't want to live! (runs off screaming)
Marge: (grumbles)
Homer: (offscreen) Hey, this maze is made of corn.

• Permalink: Maybe we should split up. Split up? Marge, no, we can fix this...
• Added: December 22, 2010

(To Man, Gasping) You stuffed your horn?

Homer

• Permalink: You stuffed your horn?
• Added: December 22, 2010

(About his new python) He is so awesome I already love him more than Lisa!

Bart

• Permalink: He is so awesome I already love him more than Lisa!
• Added: December 22, 2010

Lisa: What if Santa's Little Helper stops being a police dog, then he can get a non-violent job like barking songs on novelty Christmas records. You can do it, boy!
(Santa's Little Helper's barks 'The Dreidel Song')
Lisa: No, boy, that's Hannukah!

• Permalink: What if Santa's Little Helper stops being a police dog, then he ...
• Added: December 22, 2010

I miss Santa's Little Helper. I wanted him to be a police dog, but now he has no time for me. I even have to eat my own homework.

Bart

• Permalink: I miss Santa's Little Helper. I wanted him to be a police dog, b...
• Added: December 22, 2010