The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 22 Episode 22: "The Ned-Liest Catch" Quotes
Teachers should not be allowed to live near their students. We're natural enemies - like George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.
Bart
Ned, I have a confession to make, I may not have come here solely with the noble intention of getting drunk.
Homer
I still wear your bra.
Comic Book Guy
Homer: My doctor said don't walk.
Marge: That was a traffic signal!
Call me Delta Airlines, because I can't handle all your extra baggage.
Flanders
My email address is edna172. It's the lowest number I could get.
Comic Book Guy
Bart: If fairytales have taught us anything, first wives are the best and second wives are terrible.
Homer: Just the opposite of real life.
That's right, I'm down to my wife blesser.
Edna: Those two boys of yours weren't delivered by the stork.
Flanders: Yes they were. We deliberately chose a Doctor Stork so we could say it without lying.
Did a volcano erupt in candy land, because I just caught me a flying red hot.
Flanders
You can never raise a hand to a child. Just stop cutting the crust off their sandwiches. They'll get the message.
Marge
We can handle the alcoholism, melted cheese in the microwave and, selling A's for cigarettes, but not laying a hand on a child.
Principal Skinner
