The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 4 Episode 5: "Treehouse of Horror III" Quotes
(Homer pulls the Krusty Doll's string.)
Krusty Doll: I'm Krusty the Clown, and I don't like you.
(Homer chuckles.)
Krusty Doll: I'm Krusty the Clown, and I'm going to kill you!
Homer: (Chuckles) Didn't even pull the string that time...
Krusty Doll: I said I'm going to kill you! (Points to Homer) You, Homer Simpson!
Homer: Oh yeah? (Tosses the doll aside) With what?
(The Krusty Doll pops up from the other side of the couch, holding a knife; Homer screams.)
You think your dirty socks can stop me?! Well, they are...making me...dizzy...ugh!
</i> Krusty Doll
(Faints)
Zombie Flanders: Hey Simpson! I'm feeling a mite peckish. (Evilly) Mind if I chew your ear?
(Homer shoots Ned and the others gasp.)
Bart: Dad, you killed the Zombie Flanders!
Homer: (Surprised) He was a zombie!?
(Homer finds Barney chomping on a severed arm)
Homer: Barney, not you too!
Barney: I'm not a zombie, but hey, when in Rome.
Smithers, this is a golden opportunity. If we get him alive, we can put him on Broadway. Dead, we can sell monkey stew to the army!
Burns
To the book depository!
Homer
Lisa: Dad, we did something very bad!
Homer: Did you wreck the car?
Bart: No!
Homer: Did you raise the dead?
Lisa: Yes!
Homer: But the car's okay?
Lisa / Bart: Uh-huh.
Homer: All right then.
Bart: From A-Apple to Z-Zebra, "Baby's First Pop-up Book" is 26 pages of alphabetic adventure!
Edna: Bart, you mean to tell me you read a book intended for preschoolers?
Bart: Well, most of it.
Bart: Nice try, Mr. Flanders. But I've got a story so scary you'll wet your pants!
Grampa: Too late.
Carl: Hey, I heard we're goin' to Ape Island.
Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape. I wished we were going to Candy Apple Island.
Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
Carl: Apes. But they're not so big.
Homer: So then his wife comes through the door!
Bart: So?
Homer: Did I mention that she was dead?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Well, she was! And then, she hit him in the head with a golf-club!
Bart: And?
Homer: Don't you remember? He went golfing all the time, and it really bugged her.
Lisa: You said he went bowling!
Homer: D'oh!
Grampa: Homer! I've coughed up scarier stuff than that!
Bart: Hey, Grampa. Why don't you tell us a story? You've led an interesting life
Grampa: That's a lie, and you know it! But I did see a lot of movies
(As a naked Homer runs past) There goes the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality.
Patty
