Lisa: I'm not sure how many more times we can watch dad chased down by an angry crowd before it affects us psychologically.
Dr. Schulman: As a family therapist, I can assure you that you have all the coping skills you need.
Marge: Why is Lisa talking to an empty seat?
Lisa: See you next Tuesday Dr. Schulman! Oh right, you're in Maui.

• Permalink: See you next Tuesday Dr. Schulman! Oh right, you're in Maui.
• Added: March 15, 2015

I will do something no one has ever done, be fun sober!

Homer

• Permalink: I will do something no one has ever done, be fun sober!
• Added: March 15, 2015

Mr. Duff: Why don't you kids run off and play in the bottle cap pit.
Marge: Don't cut yourselves!

• Permalink: Don't cut yourselves!
• Added: March 15, 2015

These reality shows really leave you no privacy.

Marge

• Permalink: These reality shows really leave you no privacy.
• Added: March 15, 2015

Relax Marge, if God lets the Jews have Sunday on a Saturday, he'll be cool with this.

Reverend Lovejoy

• Permalink: Relax Marge, if God lets the Jews have Sunday on a Saturday, he'll be cool with this.
• Added: March 08, 2015

But it's not on the calendar? Okay, but if I'm sleepy at work tomorrow I get to tell everyone why.

Homer

• Permalink: But it's not on the calendar? Okay, but if I'm sleepy at work tomorrow I get to tell everyone...
• Added: March 08, 2015

I can't believe it, but the church is going to have to ask people for money.

Marge

• Permalink: I can't believe it, but the church is going to have to ask people for money.
• Added: March 08, 2015

Oh God gets your prayers, but he just clicks delete without reading them, like email updates from LinkedIn.

Homer

• Permalink: Oh God gets your prayers, but he just clicks delete without reading them, like email updates...
• Added: March 08, 2015

Princess Kemi: So, all these concubines belong to this one tyrant?
Homer: It's called The Bachelor.

• Permalink: It's called The Bachelor.
• Added: March 01, 2015

Princess Kemi: I think he is a sweet, sweet man, but when I kissed him it was not romantic, more like when Snow White kissed Dopey.
Moe: No, no, not this comparison again!

• Permalink: No, no, not this comparison again!
• Added: March 01, 2015

Moe: Do you mind riding a cute little scooter with your arms around my waist?
Princess Kemi: I don't!
Moe: To the scooter store!

• Permalink: To the scooter store!
• Added: March 01, 2015

Homer: She's gone!
Moe: And she trashed my bar! Oh no, wait, she actually cleaned up a little bit. Good for her.

• Permalink: And she trashed my bar! Oh no, wait, she actually cleaned up a little bit. Good for her.
• Added: March 01, 2015