Don't drink my loved ones

Homer

Remember when this country didn't suck? Cuz I don't.

Bart

You always do the right thing...sort of.

Marge

Wait, I finally get what you're saying. Fracking is great, but the only place it should ever happen is in other people's towns.

Homer

I appreciate the counsel Simpson, now please trap door yourself out.

Mr. Burns

I demand to see that capitalism castrating suffragette this instant.

Mr. Burns

It's true, it would be a cold day in Hell when I was popular.

Lisa

The power of Chrysler compels you!

Homer

The bed is lifting me, the elevator at work can't even do that.

Homer

I was sleeping in the dryer and got caught in your sheets.

Grandpa

These eye clamps are the only way I can tolerate today's tv.

Moe

You went to Hell and came back a winner like Jesus

Homer

The Simpsons Quotes

(Bart shows the whole classroom the tape for his project called, "How Kittens Are Born: The Ugly Truth")
Bart: and here comes Snowball II. This is the one we kept.
All: EWW!!
Bart: We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her.
All: EWWWWW!!
Martin: Mrs. Krabappel, he's traumatizing the children!
Mrs. Krabappel: As usual, I agree with you, Martin. Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!
Bart: Oh, look! This is really cool. When I hit reverse, I can make 'em go back in.
(The whole classroom screams)

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!