The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 18 Quotes
Previously on 24 I mean The Simpsons.
Jack Bauer
Jack Bauer: Bart Simpson, 12 minutes ago you made a very annoying prank phone call to me. I pulled every agent off of their assignment to track you down and bring you to justice. It was a tough call but I think I made the right one.
(nuke goes off)
(crowd gasps)
Jack Bauer: Don't worry. That was just Shelbyville.
(crowd sighs with relief)
Oh my special little guy! I'm so glad you're okay.
</i> Marge
(Homer kisses Bart)
Homer And I'm so glad you taste like hotdogs!
(On the phone) Lord, give me guidance... That's right, the guidance department. Thank you, Mrs. Lord.
Principal Skinner
Skinner: Okay, you have a deal, you conniving little (whispers in Bart's ear)
Bart: Wow, that's a swear!?
Skinner: Used as a noun, it is.
Milhouse: Mr. Simpson I'm scared.
Homer: This is our life now Milhouse, we're dumpster folk!
Lisa: What if Santa's Little Helper stops being a police dog, then he can get a non-violent job like barking songs on novelty Christmas records. You can do it, boy!
(Santa's Little Helper's barks 'The Dreidel Song')
Lisa: No, boy, that's Hannukah!
I miss Santa's Little Helper. I wanted him to be a police dog, but now he has no time for me. I even have to eat my own homework.
Bart
D'oh! Why do things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?
Homer
Homer: There sure is a lot of corn in this parking lot.
Lisa: Dad, we're in the MAZE!
(About his new python) He is so awesome I already love him more than Lisa!
Bart
Farmer: Wagon wheels were the Internet of the 19th century!
Bart: Really?
Farmer: No.
