Boy: You can't treat the working man this way. One day we'll form a union and get the fair and equittable treatment we deserve. Then we'll go too far, and get corrupt and shiftless and the Japanese will eat us alive!
Mr. Burns' Grandfather: The Japanese!? Those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders? Bosh! Flimshaw!
Years Later
Mr. Burns: If only we'd listened to that boy, instead of walling him up in the abandoned coke oven.

This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters. Soon they'll have written the greatest novel known to man. Lets see. It was the best of times, it was the "blurst" of times! You stupid monkey!

Mr. Burns

Bart: Dr. Wolfe likes to pull kids' teeth so he can sell 'em.
Kid: To who?
Bart: Know that rattle when you shake up a can of spray paint? That's a kid's tooth!

Look at them all through the darkness I'm bringing, they're not sad at all, they're actually singing.

Mr. Burns

Mr. Burns: We both want a fair union contract.
Homer: (thinking) Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Mr. Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Homer: (thinking) Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me?
Mr. Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
Homer: (thinking) My God! He is coming onto me!
Mr. Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows. (chuckle, wink)
Homer: (thinking) Aaahh! Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!

Mr. Burns: Look at him, Smithers. Exercising away. While the others are off at the candy machine.
Homer: Hey, Lenny, can you get this Sugar Daddy off my back?
Lenny: Okay, but it's the last time!

(knock on door)
Homer: Who is it?
Goon: Goons.
Homer: Who?
Goon: Hired goons.

Dr. Wolfe: How often do you brush, Ralph.
Ralph: Three times a day, sir.
Dr. Wolfe: Why must you turn my office into a house of lies?

Kent Brockman: Tonight on Smartline, the power plant strike, Arglebargle or Fufferella. With us tonight our plant owner C.M. Burns, Union Kingpin Homer Simpson, and talk show mainstay Dr. Joyce Brothers.
Dr. Joyce: I brought my own mic!

Marge: Homey, I'd like you to do something for me.
Homer: You name it.
Marge: I want you to give up beer for a month.
Homer: You got it. No deer for a month.
Marge: Did you say beer, or deer?
Homer: .... Deer.

McClure: Here's an appealing fellow. In fact, they're a-peeling him off the sidewalk.
Homer: Hehehe, It's funny cause I don't know him.

Homer: W, X, Y, and Z. Now I know my ABCs, won't you come and play with me.
Eddie: Flawless.
Lou: We also would have accepted, "tell me what you think of me."

The Simpsons Season 4 Quotes

Marge: Homer, you do remember your promise to the children?
Homer: Sure do. When you're eighteen, you're out the door!

Marge: Lisa, watch out for poison ivy. Remember, leaves of three, let it be.
Homer: Leaves of four, eat some more! (Laughs)