You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr. T at the mall. The entire day I kept saying, 'I'll go a little later. I'll go a little later.' And then when I got there, they told me he'd just left. And when I asked the mall guy if he would ever come back again, he said he didn't know. Well, I'm never going to let something like that happen again! I'm going into space right now!

Homer

Homer: Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!
(Homer turns on the TV)
Man on TV: (pointing and laughing uncontrollably) Ha, ha, you stupid--

Scientist: Maybe we should finally tell them the big secret -- that all the chimps we sent into space came back super-intelligent.
(A chair swivels round, revealing a Chimp in a suit)
Chimp: No, I don't think we'll be telling them that.

Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya. (Smithers whispers to him) And by that, I mean, it's time for the worker of the week award.

Mr. Burns

Well, here I am, right on time. I don't see Barney "Let's crash the rocket into the White House and kill the President" Gumble...

Homer

(singing) Sweet dreams and flying machines, in pieces on the ground. Oops. Uh, sweet dreams and flying machines, flying safely through the air.

James Taylor

Lisa: Come on, Dad. You can make it!
Grampa: Oh, of course he'll make it, it's TV.

Default? Woohoo! The two sweetest words in the English language!

Homer

Scientist: Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet the two experienced astronauts who will accompany the winner into space, Race Banyon and Buzz Aldrin, the second man on the moon.
Buzz: Second comes right after first!

The only danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes. Wait a minute... Statue of Liberty... that was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to Hell!

Homer

Three... two... one... make rocket go now!

Countdown at NASA

(The family watches Homer's launch on TV.)
Bart: Go, Dad, go!
Lisa: How doth the hero, strong and brave, a celestial path to the heavens paved!
(The family stares at her.)
Lisa: Go, Dad, go.

The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes

(Apu returns to work at the Kwik-E-Mart)
Apu: It may not be glamorous, but it's good honest work.
Customer: How much is this quart of milk?
Apu: Twelve dollars.

Groundskeeper Willie:(Singing) When you're alone, and life is getting you lonely, ye can always go, ACK! Doontoon.
Apu: Next