The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 5 Quotes
TV Announcer: (after the Itchy and Scratchy episode) VIEWER ADVISORY: The preceding program contained scenes of extreme violence and should not have been viewed by young children.
Well, this reporter was ... possibly a little hasty earlier and would like to reaffirm his allegiance to this country and its human president. It may not be perfect, but it's the best government we have. For now.
Kent Brockman
Lisa: Come on, Dad. You can make it!
Grampa: Oh, of course he'll make it, it's TV.
Default? Woohoo! The two sweetest words in the English language!
Homer
(on the phone) Hello, is this NASA? Good! I'm sick of your boring space launches! And another thing! How come I can't get no Tang around here?
Homer
(The family watches Homer's launch on TV.)
Bart: Go, Dad, go!
Lisa: How doth the hero, strong and brave, a celestial path to the heavens paved!
(The family stares at her.)
Lisa: Go, Dad, go.
NASA Scientist: Sir, we've run into a serious problem with the mission. These Nielsen ratings are the lowest ever.
NASA Executive: Oh, my God! We've been beaten by "A Connie Chung Christmas."
Scientist: Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet the two experienced astronauts who will accompany the winner into space, Race Banyon and Buzz Aldrin, the second man on the moon.
Buzz: Second comes right after first!
Buzz Aldrin: So Barney, we hear you're kickin' ass.
Homer: I, uh, don't think this contest is over yet Buzz. If that is your real name. I believe there is still a little something called the swimsuit competition.
Buzz Aldrin: There's no swimsuit competition, Homer.
Homer: You mean I shaved my bikini zone for nothing?
Three... two... one... make rocket go now!
Countdown at NASA
The only danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes. Wait a minute... Statue of Liberty... that was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to Hell!
Homer
Lisa: Don't any of you notice something wrong with what Malibu Stacy says?
Girl: There's something wrong with what my Malibu Stacy says... (pulls string)
Malibu Stacy Doll: My spidey-sense is tingling - anyone call for a web slinger?
