The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 5 Quotes
Mr. Peterson, you can take this job and...fill it! And one more thing...I never once washed my hands. That's your policy, not mine.
Grampa
Marge: Now let's talk this over a nice big bowl of strawberry ice cream.
(Lisa pulls the doll's string)
Malibu Stacy Doll: Now let's talk this over with a nice big bowl of strawberry ice cream!
Marge: Hmmmm....
Don't ask me! I'm just a girl! Hee hee hee! Hee hee hee!
Malibu Stacy Doll
Hello...Smithers. You're quite good...at turning me on
</i> Mr. Burns
Lisa: It's not funny, Bart. Millions of girls will grow up thinking that this is the right way to act; that they can never be more than vacuous ninnies whose only goal is to look pretty, land a rich husband, and spend all day on the phone with their equally vacuous friends talking about how damn terrific it is to look pretty and have a rich husband!
Bart: Just what I was going to say.
Looking at that tired old freak has made me realize I'm no spring chicken myself. I can feel death's clammy hand on my shoulder. Wait, that's my hand.
Grampa
Grampa: Why are you people avoiding me? Does my withered face remind you of the grim specter of Death?
Homer: Yes, but there's more. Dad, I love you, but...you're a weird, sore-headed old crank and nobody likes you!
Do we sell... French... fries?
Grampa
Lisa: Don't any of you notice something wrong with what Malibu Stacy says?
Girl: There's something wrong with what my Malibu Stacy says... (pulls string)
Malibu Stacy Doll: My spidey-sense is tingling - anyone call for a web slinger?
Lisa: Mom! We could go on the factory tour and I could complain in person!
Marge: Honey, you're not going to throw red paint at the executives, are you? The Keebler people were very upset.
Without further ado, I give you the man who puts young people behind bars, where they belong, TV's 'Matlock'.
Dr. Hibbert
Lisa: It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you.
Grampa: It's rotten being old. No one listens to you.
Homer: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are!
