The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 5 Quotes
Bart and Lisa: (Singing dull) Hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs.
Grampa: Sing it like you mean it!
(Grampa plays harmonica and the kids sing it with style.)
Bart and Lisa: What kind of kids eat Armour Hot Dogs?
Bart: Fat kids.
Lisa: Skinny kids.
Bart: Kids who climb on rocks.
Lisa: Tough kids.
Bart: Sissy kids.
Milhouse: (Sticks head from the window.) Even kids with chicken pox love--
Family: Hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs.
(Grampa stops playing harmonica.) The dogs kids love to bite!
Lisa: Doesn't this family know any songs that aren't commercials?
(Everyone except Lisa starts singing the "Chicken Tonight" jingle.)
Hello, everyone except Homer.
Patty
You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.
Grampa
That's chowdah! Chowdah! I'll kill you! I'll kill all of you! Especially those of you in the jury!
Freddy Quimby
Your Uncle Arthur used to have a saying. "Shoot em' all and let God sort it out." Unfortunately, one day he put his theory into practice. It took 75 federal marshals to bring him down. Now, let's never speak of him again.
Marge
Oh my God! Someone's taken a bite out of the big Rice Krispie square! Oh yeah, and the waiter's been brutally beaten.
Chief Wiggum
Why, there are no children here at the 4H club, either! Am I so out of touch? No, it's the children who are wrong.
Principal Skinner
Helen Lovejoy: Heh, this won't take long. He's clearly guilty. We'll probably be home by dinner time.
Jasper: Good. I hear the dog from Frasier is going to ride the dolphin on SeaQuest.
Ah, the joys of mortgaging your future.
Bart
(about Principal Skinner) Oh my God, he is like some sort of ... non ... giving up ... school guy!
Bart
I'm only doing what I think is right. I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.
Homer
Homer: What does "sequestered" mean?
Principal Skinner: If the jury is deadlocked they're put up in a hotel together so they can't communicate with the outside world.
Homer: What does "deadlocked" mean?
Principal Skinner: It's when the jury can't agree on a verdict.
Homer: Uh huh. And "if"?
Principal Skinner: A conjunction meaning "in the event that" or "on condition that".
Homer: So if we don't all vote the same way, we'll be deadlocked and have to be sequestered in the Springfield Palace Hotel--
Patty: That's not going to happen.
Jasper: Let's vote. My liver is failing.
Homer: --where we'll get a free room, free food, free swimming pool, free HBO ooh! Free Willy!
