The Sopranos Quotes
(A garbage driver has dumped garbage outside a complaining customer's mini-mart)
Richie: You called to complain yesterday? That's our policy, it's written on the side of our trucks. Double your garbage back if you're not satisfied.
Siraj: I complained because you didn't make full pickups on 12/16 and 20, and then I get charged double!
Richie: Yeah, we had to come out twice. (laughs)
Siraj: You charged me for pickups you missed.
Richie: My dispatcher asked you: if you're not satisfied, did you want your garbage back?
Siraj: Of course I don't want garbage back!
Richie: Then you're satisfied!
Siraj: You're talking shit to me.
Bobby: (on Catherine) She seems all right.
Junior: What the hell would we talk about? Bunions? You know how I feel about feet.
Tony: What do you wanna talk about?
Richie: Fucking Dick Barone!
Tony: Well, as long as the two of you are happy.
Tony: If I'm going to lam it, I'm going with a fucking package. I'm not going to be like fucking Mickey Mazucco. The poor prick only had five minutes to run. He ended up in some rat infested motel down in Elvis country.
Furio: What is that?
Paulie: Anywhere there are no Jews or Italians.
Furio: I don't get it.
(to Tony) Sometimes we're all hypocrites.
Meadow
(to Tony) Maybe you should lamb chop it for awhile?
Furio
(to police) On your way out do you think you can roll the garbage down the hill? Tomorrow is pick up day.
Tony
Paulie: You didn't go to hell. You went to purgatory, my friend.
Christopher: I forgot about purgatory.
Paulie: Purgatory--a little detour on the way to paradise.
Christopher: How long do you think we've got to stay there?
Paulie: That's different for everybody. You add up all your mortal sins and multiply that number by 50. Then you add up all your venial sins and multiply that by 25. You add that together and that's your sentence. I figure I'm gonna have to do 6,000 years before I get accepted into heaven and 6,000 years is nothin' in eternity terms. I can do that standing on my head. It's like a couple of days here.
Gentle and merciful Lord Jesus, I want to speak to you not with an open heart, an honest heart. Tonight I ask you take my sins and the sins of my family into your merciful heart. We have chosen this life in full awareness of the consequences of our sins. I know that Christopher's life is in your hands and his fate is your will. I ask you humbly to spare him and if it is your will to spare him, I ask that you deliver him from blindness and grant him vision and through this vision may he see your love and gain the strength to carry on in service to your mercy.
</i> Carmela
Tony: (about a vasectomy) Well whatever is down here is God's creation. Isn't it a sin to undo the good work he's done?
Carmela: Well you should know. You've made a living of it.
Dr. Melfi: (on Christopher) Do you think he'll go to hell?
Tony: No. He's not the type that deserves hell.
Dr. Melfi: Who do you think does?
Tony: The worst people. The twisted and demented psychos who kill people for pleasure, the cannibals, the degenerate bastards that molest and torture little kids. They kill babies. The Hitlers. The Pol Pots. Those are the even fucks that deserve to die, not my nephew.
Dr. Melfi: What about you?
Tony: What? Hell? You been listening to me? No, for the same reasons. We're soldiers. Soldiers don't go to hell. It's war. Soldiers they kill other soldiers. We're in a situation where everyone involved knows the stakes and if your gonna accept those stakes you gotta do certain things. It's business. Soldiers. We follow codes, orders.
(to Elliot on Tony) I'm living in a moral never never land with this patient. Not wanting to judge but to treat. But now I've judged, I took a position Goddamn it and I'm scared.
Dr. Melfi
