Mason: Why are you so certain?
Conner: Because the client told me so.
Mason: Diane? When?
Conner: Last night. And this morning... in the shower

Hey, Sarah, using a dating service is not an announcement to the world that you are a loser. It's a signal flare to the world that you're ready for love


Mason: What should I do about it?
Conner: About what? About this flirting I don't think is happening?
Mason: But which clearly is...
Conner: You know what, then, flirt back. Knock yourself out. It's good for the blood stream, strengthens the heart. Can't hurt. Might help. Just keep it PG. And she's not flirting with you

Dating Service Lady: Most women who found their mate, said "sense of humor' was the most important quality"
Sarah: I don't really want to date a fat guy

Dating Service Lady: A lot of girls don't mind skewing a little bit older.
Sarah: Oh, well then, 70's would be fine, as long as they're super rich and terminally ill

Sarah: ollingra ockra unchla
Conner: You've got a Rolling Rock lunch?
Mason: That's some code you got. He knows. He's coming with

Mason: Are you sure? Do other people think he likes you or is it just you that thinks that?
Sarah: Mason, I know who likes me and who doesn't like me. That Diane lady on Hydrenaline, doesn't like me. Rick, he likes me.

You were partners with Sarah. I don't find it weird. I have no problem with that. I didn't mack out with Lewis.


Sarah: They are a couple, Tom and Amy. Look.
Conner: Tom Fuller, that dog.
Sarah: Hey! Do either one of you understand what this means?
Conner: It means we have to find some way to tease and embarrass them

Mason: Would you ever consider moving?
Conner: Minneapolis? I don't know. It sounds so cold. And so close to Canada

Conner: Look on the bright side.
Mason: What side? Where is it bright?
Conner: I may make more money than you, but you have more money than me.

I don't mean to belittle your achievement, but didn't you get that promotion because someone dropped dead?


Trust Me Quotes

Conner: You need to get this boat.
Mason: I can't afford it.
Conner: Be a good American and finance it.

You've been carrying me? I've been carrying you so long I have scoliosis

Mason [to Conner]