Two and a Half Men Season 7 Quotes
Alan: Out of the two of us who would have figured I'd be the care free bachelor?
Charlie: If by that you mean lonely and single, then everyone
Charlie: Hey can I be the best man?
Alan: You'll need a sex change
Charlie: What about your back pain?
Chelsea: I'll live with it.
Charlie: Are you sure?
Chelsea: I live with you, don't I?
I want to see you happy, and not dressed like an unemployed lesbian
Evelyn [to Alan]
Breakfast of champions, Type 2 diabetes division
Alan [after pouring M&M's into Jake's brown bag]
I love my new silk pajamas mom, they're like wearing a baby seal
Alan
Chelsea: They're not our boobs, they're my breasts
Charlie: If you were to dust them for prints right now, who would be suspect number one?
You suggested Charlie's fiancee get small breasts? Why not reinstate prohibition while you're at it?
Evelyn [to Alan]
Let's make one thing clear, the only acceptable boob reduction in this house is you moving out
Charlie [to Alan]
Charlie: I'll tell you what helps pain, pain pills. In fact, I saw a guy on the news with a nail in his head and thanks to pain pills he was laughing
Alan: What about addiction?
Charlie: That's the least of his problem, he has a nail in his head!
Chelsea: You're staring at them, Alan
Alan: It's okay, I'm almost a doctor
Alan: Name three things you would change about me
Charlie: Your personality, your wardrobe and your address
Alan: Thank you
Charlie: Your voice, your face and again your address
Alan: Alright, alright
Charlie: Your haircut, your fruity little workbook and your address
Alan: Just needed three
Charlie: Come on, we're healing. Your cheapness, your smug arrogance, and your address
