UnREAL
Mondays 10:00 PM on LifetimeUnREAL Quotes
Rodrigo: Noelle, I think we've been like two ships passing in the night, but now it's time to sail together.
Quinn: I still don't understand anything he says.
Quinn: And the fact that one of your jizz shots ended up in my vagina instead of on some Everlasting bimbo's face or in one of your moisture-wicking hiking socks means shit to me. This is Chet's baby and always will be.
August: You really think that it's that simple?
Quinn: I do. And if you're having trouble grasping the concept, I have an army of lawyers who will make it clear for you.
Rachel: Tommy and I were tap dancing and pulling shit out of our asses, and you're what? You're trying on veils?
Quinn: Well, if you must know, I was splayed out in stirrups, listening to my gynecologist harangue me about what a friggin' miracle it is that anything could actually grow in my crypt-keeper womb.
So, August again? Now we know where all those hammocks came from. Ordered straight from the Woke White Dude Superstore.
August
And when they come face to face with a beautiful, empowered woman who owns her sexuality and knows what it's worth, instead of some castrating bitch, who just wants to lock him up in a cage all day and put him on a cholesterol-free diet and harvest his sperm and his money, you wanna know how that bro feels? He feels free. And powerful.
Candy Coco
Who needs my ancient, autism-causing sperm? August is like what the Greeks had in mind when they created the Greek gods.
Chet
You hear that? That's the sound of America's panties dropping!
Quinn
Look, if you want to go all rock star and relapse, that's super cool, but wait until after the show, okay? 'Cause this isn't just your career you're shitting on, Alexi. It's mine.
Jay
But the guys are all saying that Candi's crazy now, and they're literally calling her Cuckoo for Candi Coco Puffs.
Rachel
Okay, great show last night, everyone! But now I want tits out farther, dicks harder, and tantrums tearier! Candy is popping big, but Noelle wants to take her down, so we have to protect our little stripper.
Quinn
Holy shit! Yes, we do! I'm gonna have a baby! With Quinn King! You magnificent goddess! You did it. And screw all those doctors. You are the most powerful woman in the whole world.
Chet
I need it written in Graham's contracts that he is not allowed to read any books ever.
Quinn
