You know what? The camera loves him and so will the rest of America.

Ava [about Chris]

Pill problem, pill problem, pill problem, mystery STD.


Let me guess, you're having a baby with Yvonne and you'll name it 'work.'


You should just poke a hole in the condom. I learned that one from my little pal. Oh, no I didn't, cause she sucks!


That, as we say in the Hundred and First Airborne, is a bit of a ball knocker.


You remind her of that smell and the tiny socks?

Chris's Teammate

Jamie: I hate school.
Ava: How many teachers are you sleeping with?

Reagan: How's my breath?
Ava: I give it a B, it could be better.

Reagan: If the first James Bond and the last James Bond had a baby, it would be you.
Chris: I feel like you're just saying that cause I said it in the car.

Oh God Christopher, I don't want to see how the sausage is made!


Guys I own three pairs of Crocs and wear a Life Is Good tee shirt.


My ex Kevin, I wear his deodorant brand so I can remember his smell.


Up All Night Season 1 Quotes

Who knows, maybe I'll get the old Nordic Track out.


Reagan: Stop saying baby in there, like there's a baby hiding in the closet with a knife or something.
Chris: Why are we whispering?