Venture Brothers
Sundays 11:30 PM on Cartoon NetworkVenture Brothers Season 1 Episode 5: "Eeny, Meeny, Miney... Magic" Quotes
Triana: So how come I don't see you at school?
Dean: I'm kinda home-tutored in a box my pop made. It sometimes gets very hot in the box....my pop made.
Triana: Wow, that's, um...that's screwy.... Crap, did I upset you?
Dean: Penguins have an organ above their eyes that converts seawater into freshwater
Dr. Venture: Dean what the hell are you doing in there? I need to take a shower!
Dean: I'm practicing being a boyfriend, Pop!
Dr. Venture: Never mind, Dean!
Dr. Orpheus: What the hell is this thing made of?
Dr. Venture: Nothing.
Dr. Orpheus: Come on...
Dr. Venture: All right, fine, I might have used a few unorthodox parts.
Dr. Orpheus: Just tell me one...
Dr. Venture: An...orphan.
Dr. Orpheus: A what?
Dr. Venture: An orphan?
Dr. Orpheus: Did you say, "an orphan?!"
Dr. Venture: Yeah, a little...orphan boy.
Dr. Orpheus: It's powered by a forsaken child?!?
Dr. Venture: Might be, kind of. I didn't use the whole thing!
Molotov Cocktail: Promise me one thing.
Brock: What's that?
Molotov Cocktail: Don't be gentle
Dr. Venture: Hmm, how you fit a stairway behind this bookcase, I'll never figure out. Heey, if I pull this candle down, will it...?
Dr. Orpheus: ...get wax on my carpet? Yes
Dr. Orpheus: And now the Marco, with arms outstretched, and his eyes blinded to all his Polos, begins to cry his own name...
Dr. Venture: Oh my god, fine, just try it, for crying out loud.
Dr. Orpheus: Very well.... Marco!! Marco!!
Dr. Venture [about Orpheus' cat]: Oh, she's an affectionate little one.
Dr. Orpheus: Oh my apologies, she's in heat.
Dr. Venture: I heard if you take a q-tip and moisten it with warm water...
Dr. Orpheus: Ohhhh! I tried that once, it was horrible. I couldn't look at her for a week. She was just a walking reminder of our common shame.
Dr. Venture: Oh dear God, that's not your wife in some like, magical animal form
Dean, I'm going to turn around now and you better be on fire. You're standing there in flames, and the only person who can put you out is me. Because that is the only conceivable reason that you would wake me up like this!
Dr. Venture
Dr. Venture: My son has it in his head that you were in our house last night and you...killed our robot. Heh heh.
Dr. Orpheus: The seed of your loins is quite astute. I saved your mechanical man from certain damnation. For his frail, electronic eyes had gazed upon the impenetrable! He was an unwilling beholder to the impossible!
Dr. Venture: ... See, I told you there was a rational explanation
Brock: Look, Hank, I have memories attached to that record. Could we drop this please?
Hank: Is it because you killed a whole bunch of ninjas when it was playing, so now it reminds you of ninja?
Brock: No.
Hank: Frogmen? Does it remind you of frogmen?
Brock: No!
Hank: A team of mutated half-dog, half-man...
Brock: It's a woman! The only woman I ever loved. Ya happy now?
Hank: No. Because you snapped at me
Triana: Who's that big guy who's always washing his car in front of your place?
Dean: Oh, that's Brock. He's my dad's bodyguard. One time, I saw him kill a guy with a sock full of party snaps!
Triana: Did the guy's head get blown off?
Dean: Yes it did
Greetings, Pumpkin, I am at Mr. Venture's lab to right that which is wrong and to repair the torn curtain of time itself! There are four puddings in the fridge. You may enjoy the contents of one of them. Dinner at six
Dr. Orpheus [leaving a message]