We open for the Dolls in 24 fuckin' hours. You think I give a shit what band mate's fuckin' cock you sucked?


I'm not looking to be defined by my relationship to the fucking crown.


Andie [to Jamie]: Two hours late? Are you fucking kidding me?
Kip: Leave her alone.

Nobody wants to make girls A&R reps, because A&R reps give direction and criticism which is almost impossible to do with a cock in your mouth.


Richie: I need to focus!
Skip: On what? Our impending doom?

Zak: I'm comin' with ya.
Richie: You hate LA.
Zak: I hate everywhere.

Act British, spend Yiddish.


Zak: I'd trust my wife naked in bed with Burt Reynolds before I'd trust you alone with 200 grand in cash!
Richie: I vaguely see your point!

I think about what I'd do without Moira...what's your secret, because I can't get the bitch to leave.


I can't be the first person who ever mentioned it to your face. The logo looks like a toilet.


Zak: How bout she steals back Hannibal she's so valuable.
Richie: No.
Zak: Huh? Why not?
Richie: Because he tried to shove his dick in my wife is why not!

Day after after day I hear this sound of creaking back and forth. It's the sound of me, hanging myself from the rafters.


Vinyl Quotes

I just bought those bagels. They were fresh. They're not so fresh anymore.


Zak: He's talkin' a boycott. Label wide.
Richie: Over Donnie fuckin' Osmond?!