Warehouse 13 Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot" Quotes
Artie: Hey! Please take this seriously. I had a run-in with a Mayan calendar a few years ago, and that question saved my life. And the two agents with me were not quite so lucky.
Myka: What happened to them?
Artie: Their clocks... stopped.
Pete: So, what? They died?
Artie: Well, they'll wish they had in a 100 years or so.
You, uh, wished for a transfer, didn't you? Oh, see, impossible wishes, wishes that can never be granted, they produce a ferret. Don't ask me why. My first year here, the whole place was crawling with ferrets.Artie
Artie: And that is exactly what we do here. We take the unexplained.. and we just safely tuck it away in this super-sized Pandora's Box.
Pete: Metaphorically speaking.
Artie: Well, actually, Pandora's box is over in Aisle 989-B. Empty, of course.
Pete: So, okay, who are these guys?
Artie: Former colleagues.
Pete: And.. and where are they now?
Artie: Well, um, this one and this one are dead. This one, a mental institution in Germany. And this last one disappeared. One day I'll find him.
Artie: Come on. Come on inside. I'll show you around.
Myka: Around what? What am I doing here?
Artie: I'll explain everything inside. Come on. I made cookies.
Pete: What's that?
Frederic: An invitation to endless wonder.
Pete: Okay, could you sound a little more creepy?
Frederic: My name's Frederic.
Pete: Frederic what?
Frederic: Mrs. Frederic.
Pete: Well, that's a relief.
Look, Myka, why don't you pull your head out of your magenta and feel the room. Something's off.Pete
Pete: This must be a joke.
Mrs. Frederic: Do I look like a joke?
Unbunch your panties and make the best of a bad situation.Pete
I'm too valuable to be wasted here. No offense.Myka
Welcome to Warehouse 13.Artie