So this place is filled with, like the worst guys ever, right? Hitler, Mussolini, Michael Vick.

Pete

MacPherson: Walk out of here with me now... and follow what you know to be true in your soul.
Pete: That's a nice speech. it sounds even better with the fancy accent. But it still doesn't cover the fact that you are out of your gourd, McNutty-Pants! You put a bomb in a man's mouth. Not really a great recruiting tool.
MacPherson: Fair enough.

Artie: Ladies first.
Myka: What? Uh, yeah, age before beauty.
Pete: What? He's older than me. He's older than both of us put together.
Artie: All right, shut up. Hold that. Children. I'm working with children.

Artie: Hey, guys, the Phoenix and the Goblet of Severan, Mrs. Frederic says they've been taken from the warehouse. And she seemed shaken.
Pete: Mrs. Frederic? Seemed shaken?
Artie: Yeah.
Myka: That is so not comforting.

Pete: Okay, let's go over what we don't know.
Myka: That could take weeks.
Pete: Months.
Myka: Years.

Pete: But there's something else.
Myka: What?
Pete: I think I'm hot for your mom.

Pete: He thinks you're still in D.C. They both do.
Myka: Well, yeah. And if you tell them any differently, I swear, I will... I will drop a dictionary on your crotch.

Manage my assets better or I swear on the ashes of the first twelve Warehouses, I will take them away.

Mrs. Frederic

Artie: Look, we were following a lead.
Mrs. Frederic: You took a shot in the dark.
Artie: We hit the center of that target.
Mrs. Frederic: With a small-caliber bullet.
Artie: Pete's caliber is very large. We... you know what? I'm done with this analogy.

Artie: How long did you have before the warehouse was gonna explode?
Pete: Under a minute.
Claudia: More like thirty seconds.
Artie: That's lucky. I once got there with 17, and (Mrs. Frederic's) voice gets really annoying when she's counting down the seconds one at time.

Myka: You're good. No, you're really good. You'll be fine.
Claudia: Thanks. Hey, um, you know, if you're not busy later, maybe you could show me how to do that ka-cha kick thing? 'Cause, like I tried it on the light switch and I think I broke my toe. And I know I broke the light switch.

Artie: So am I fired?
Mrs. Frederic: Worse. They want you to stay. Bering and Lattimer are not the best agents we've ever had. You are.
Artie: They said that?
Mrs. Frederic: It was said. And they were smart enough to believe me.
Artie: Oh. Thanks.
Mrs. Frederic: Simply the facts.

Warehouse 13 Season 1 Quotes

Welcome to Warehouse 13.

Artie

I'd like to think of it as America's attic.

Artie