Claudia: Would it have killed you to put a warning label on this thing?
Artie: Saying what? "Only put on in case of stupid?"

Claudia: Oh, hi, Artie. Hi. Huh, funny story. So I kind of, uh, tried to fix this light bulb, even though you expressly told me not too. And man, have I learned my lesson! You're so right about the is place. You just never know what to expect. Okay, you're pissed. Can we move past that part for now and get to the part where you get me down from here?
Artie: That wouldn't be Volta's lab coat that you're wearing?
Claudia: All part of the hilarious story I should really tell you when I'm back on planet Earth.

Myka: What's he in for?
Pete: He killed his wife. A lot.

Myka: You use soap on a rope?
Pete: Hey, I don't judge your personal hygiene products. Although you might wanna invest and get some moisturizers. You look a little dry around the nose.
Myka: Oh, you want to swap beauty tips. Then we can talk about the hair that's sprouting from your shoulders, your nose, and, your, umm, ears.

Hurting is half the fun. You want to know what's more fun? The other half.

Myka

Myka: Is there anything you don't play with?
Pete: Umm... no.

Myka: Having intel in the field keeps an agent alive, Pete. But Artie acts like keeping us alive is not a priority. To him we're just...
Pete: Redshirts?
Myka: Yeah.
Pete: Okay. First, he doesn't think we're redshirts. And second, that's so cool you knew what I meant.

Artie: Shouldn't you be in college or something? Don't you want to be with people your own age?
Claudia: Artie, I'm not my own age.

Pete: Use your feminine wiles. Smile. You're pretty when you smile.
Myka: I am?
Pete: Yeah.
Myka: So what does that mean when I'm not smiling?
Pete: Kind of frightening.

Myka: Hey, partner. How are you feeling?
Pete: Sore. Everywhere. Need cookies.

Claudia: Check.
Artie: I'll be damned.
Claudia: Well, maybe, but I'm not one to judge.

Leena: She needs people like her.
Artie: Brash, rude, anti-social, impulsive?
Leena: We're discussing Claudia, not you.
Artie: See, that's kind of a low blow.

Warehouse 13 Season 1 Quotes

Welcome to Warehouse 13.

Artie

I'd like to think of it as America's attic.

Artie