Belski: How does someone get invited to your party?
Pete: Oh, well... you don't get invited. You get shoved.

Myka: You know how when you sing in the shower, and it bounces off the tiles, and you sound spectacular.
Artie: No, I never sound spectacular.

Myka: You ever see that movie The Great Santini with the tough dad and the scared kids?
Pete: It's like that, huh?
Myka: Yeah, except it wasn't over in two hours.

Okay, so what are we looking for, Artie? Are we looking for souped-up speakers or Thomas Edison's wax cylinder?


Myka: What has Agent Belski done for you lately?
Pete: Um... she sashays.
Myka: Yeah.
Pete: A little bit.
Myka: No.
Pete: She doesn't even know it.
Myka: Oh, yes, she does. She does.

Belski: Banks just hand over the money. Everyone's shy on the details.
Pete: Which is strange.
Belski: Tell me something I don't know.
Pete: Uh, Mary, Queen of Scots' croquet mallet was made from a petrified narwhal's horn. She never lost a match.

Belski: Then you get exiled off the reservation into my town, humping my leg.
Pete: It's a nice leg.

Myka: What is it with men and their balls?
Pete: Yeah.

Leena: How are you sleeping?
Artie: I'm not.
Leena: I could tell. Your aura looks like hell.
Artie: Then stop looking at it.

Artie: Hey! Please take this seriously. I had a run-in with a Mayan calendar a few years ago, and that question saved my life. And the two agents with me were not quite so lucky.
Myka: What happened to them?
Artie: Their clocks... stopped.
Pete: So, what? They died?
Artie: Well, they'll wish they had in a 100 years or so.

You, uh, wished for a transfer, didn't you? Oh, see, impossible wishes, wishes that can never be granted, they produce a ferret. Don't ask me why. My first year here, the whole place was crawling with ferrets.


Artie: And that is exactly what we do here. We take the unexplained.. and we just safely tuck it away in this super-sized Pandora's Box.
Pete: Metaphorically speaking.
Artie: Well, actually, Pandora's box is over in Aisle 989-B. Empty, of course.

Warehouse 13 Season 1 Quotes

Welcome to Warehouse 13.


I'd like to think of it as America's attic.