Weeds Season 5 Quotes
We used to call [getting an abortion] "going to Van Nuys." Probably because the clinic was located in Van Nuys.
Andy
Your kid has a one in five chance of being Autistic - and I don't mean the cool kind of Autistic.
Andy
Is it ok to impersonate your dead brother and pseudo-steal some money if you're gonna use the cash for the family's greater good?
Andy
Shane: You stuck your penis inside my mother at least once.
Nancy: Ok, then. Good night, Shane. Go upstairs.
Silas: So, you're the mayor of Mexico or something?
Esteban: Or something, yes.
They were going to sell my gallbladder to the Japanese. Fortunately, my body is a toxic pit.
Celia
I don't mean to be judgey, but where did she meet that guy? Home depot?
Jill [about Sucio]
A Mexican gynco? Nanc, if you're putting together a mariachi band, yes, go Mexican. Down there, you want a Jew.
Andy
Nancy [about Sucio]: Is it too much to ask him to shower?
Cesar: He's comfortable with his man smell, live with it
Nancy: If something happens to me, you'll take care of this for Silas and Shane
Dean: If something happens? Where you going, skydiving?
Nancy: None of your business. Just make sure it all gets taken care of. I'm counting on you
Dean: Out of curiousity and of coruse self image, why me?
Nancy: Cause I trust you. Cause you're a parent. Cause you're the only person i could find on such short notice
Nancy: You're religious?
Cesar: Selectively
Nancy: Right, the whole thou shalt not kill thing probably isn't work out that well for you, huh?
Cesar: and I support gay marriage
Isabelle: Who was on the phone?
Dean: Someone's kidnapped your mother.
Isabelle: Seriously?
Dean: Who knows? Another game?
Isabelle: Sure.
