Popular Wilfred Quotes
Ryan: I thought it would make me sound Effete.
Wilfred: So does saying the word "effete."
A bone? That's like giving a basketball to a black guy.
Not like I was gonna buy her. Last time I had Indian, it gave me the shits for a week.
Sometimes when I look at you, I can almost see a 10-foot tampon string hanging out of you.
Having fun, Ryan? Just another lazy Sunday watching porn with your lazy, rock hard neighbor.
I have a government job. All I do is watch porn!
Jesse
Here comes the part where he carries her into the house like a Viking on a rape quest. He's gonna wreck that, mate.
Ryan: Did you eat my sandwich?
Wilfred: Because I'm a dog, right? I can only imagine what you'd say if I was black.
Your death will be my holiday.
Wilfred [to Drew]
Ryan: What's the one thing Jenna hates about Drew?
Wilfred: Vaginal tearing from his huge cock?
Chemistry, baking and ping pong... how were you not blow jobbed to death by the entire cheerleading squad?
Ryan: Get off.
Wilfred: I'm trying to!
