Wilfred: You drove me to it. The way you went on and on about that bandana!
Ryan: I said it was cute.
Wilfred: Exactly! What was I supposed to do, not kill him for his bandana?

It was the perfect plan. And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kid!

Wilfred

I knew Jelly Beans had a weakness for bouncing tennis balls so I tossed one in front of Gene's car.

Wilfred

Why did you do it Gene? Where are you going? And why has your blinker been on for the last 10 miles? Just turn left already! Jesus!

Wilfred

One of those and I'm out for eight hours...doesn't matter how loud the baby cries.

Kristen

Ryan: I have been having dreams about Dad...weird dreams.
Kristen: Sex dreams?

I had a dream that the nation rose up to live out its true creed. That in the state of Alabama little black boys and girls were able to hold hands with little white boys and girls and walk together as brother and sister. It was creepy how real it felt.

Wilfred

He's just a dog. He can't talk to you.

Mr. Newman

Wilfred Season 3 Episode 7 Quotes

I had a dream that the nation rose up to live out its true creed. That in the state of Alabama little black boys and girls were able to hold hands with little white boys and girls and walk together as brother and sister. It was creepy how real it felt.

Wilfred

He's just a dog. He can't talk to you.

Mr. Newman