Ryan: I don't even wanna go to this wedding. Now I'm the co-ring bearer?
Wilfred: Yeahhhh, we need to talk about your title.

Do you ever wonder what it would be like if Wilfred could talk?

Drew

Being happy is just like being gay. It's a choice, that's why they mean the same thing.

Hey, Ryyyyy - cironi, the San Francisco treat. Now in the new chicken.

Drew

All that you see here are creations of your own mind. Perhaps that is why I am such a stereotype.

Red Wolf

Ryan: We need to get to a hospital.
Wilfred: Come on Ryan, Bear doesn't have insurance.

What about your boss's suicide? I mean someone ate his brains. That's twisted. Did they find who did that, by the way?

Jenna: Could you ever forgive me?
Ryan: I do everything else for ya.

Ryan: I'm returning the cats. There's no reason to keep them.
Wilfred: Dude, I was literally just about to kill them.

I will not rest until every cat in Venice is dead. And then I will move to my ultimate goal of making earrings out of the bronze testicles of every postal worker in the greater Los Angeles area.

Ryan

Imagine how hilarious I'd look wearing a full-bodied animal suit.

Ryan: Maybe there will be a feel good ending, like all the cats are found safe.
Wilfred: Or sex-butchered by a psychopath.

Wilfred Season 2 Quotes

Wilfred: Do you know why dogs dig?
Ryan: Because they're searching for bones?
Wilfred: Because we're searching for truth.

It said "wake up," which is weird because I read somewhere that people can't read while they're dreaming.

Ryan