Wynonna Earp Season 4 Episode 5: "Holy War: Part 1" Quotes
Wynonna: Whoa, boner alert.
Nicole: Yeah, you look pretty good too, sis.
Wynonna: Yeah, we can get it. You ready?
Nicole: Ready? I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life.
Nicole: I can’t believe I’m walking down the aisle to become Waverly Earp’s wife.
Wynonna: Well, you sacrificed a lot to keep this place safe.
Nicole: Well, this place is my home, and you guys are my family.
Wynonna: What are you doing sneaking around my barn?
Doc: What are you doing sleeping with a pistol under your pillow?
Wynonna: It’s my bedroom. I’ll ask the questions.
Doc: I’ve been keeping watch.
Wynonna: Over me?
Doc: Over all of you. As of late, we have been under siege.
Wynonna: Hey, fastest gunslinger in the west, I outdrew you.
Doc: I did not draw at all.
Wynonna: You ever been outdrawn?
Doc: Honestly, nope.
Wynonna: Do you not need to sleep anymore, now that you’re…
Doc: It’s one of the benefits of my condition.
Wynonna: We don’t talk about that anymore.
Doc: There is much that we fail to discuss.
Wynonna: Talking is overrated. Doc, did you eat another fireman?
Doc: I’m urging us to find a more measured response.
Wynonna: This coming from the guy who works for the biggest demon Dong Corleone in town.
Doc: I’ve never seen Amon’s… I definitely don’t know the size of…
Wynonna: So take a look.
Doc: Luckily, this house was built by strong hands from stubborn wood.
Wynonna: That’s what I used to call my last boyfriend. [pauses] Inappropriate.
Rachel: Because he died or because he’s Waverly’s angel dad?
Wynonna: Who knew the Ghost River Triangle had a museum?
Teenage girl: Literally everyone.
Wynonna: They shouldn’t mean girls in here. It should be a sacred space for geeks. Like Comic-Con.
Doc: Special collections, a woman scorned.
Wynonna [in a stage whisper]: She doesn’t even go here.
Jeremy: Whoa, OK, sorry. Did not mean to pull a Wynonna on you. Why Cleo’s couch still here?
Waverly: Um, well, we asked the movers, um, to put it back.
Nicole: So we could all have a place to hang out.
Jeremy: OK, yeah, “hang out.” Is that what the queer lady kids are calling it these days?
Nicole: I can’t wait anymore. It’s been over a year. Can you help?
Ma’am: I would very much like to, but the price is steep.
Nicole: I will do, I will do, I will do anything to get her back. Please.
Ma’am: Even this?
Nicole: If you’ll save them from the Garden.
Wynonna: Geezers get fuzzy. They remember things the way they want to, not the way it happened.
Doc: Yeah, well, I do not have the luxury of growing old and forgetting all the things I have done.
Wynonna: Well, next time, don’t make a deal with the Stone Witch and become a vampire. What would Wyatt think of all this? You think he would be proud of me?
Doc: I am no longer certain you would be proud of him.
Nicole: I need booze.
Nedley: You look like you need an ambulance.
Jeremy: Whatever’s wrong with her, it can’t be fixed with modern medicine.
Nedley: Have you tried chicken soup and a “One Day at a Time” marathon?
Nicole: Tequila. I got to get the taste of frogs out of my mouth.
Nedley: Did you say frogs?
Jeremy: Oh boy, did she ever.
Waverly: Apparently she did something terrible, but every time she tries to tell us what it is, she throats up.
Nedley: So we’re dealing with what, some kind of hex? With all the new creatures in town it could be anything – a warlock, an incubus, a SpongeBob.
Waverly: Ah, you did research. Sort of.
Wynonna: It’s called “A Woman Scorned.” You know who got scorned? The doink who paid actual money for this wank of art. So, um, should I slip into my catsuit and slink through the security lasers?
Doc: As much as l would love to see that, we have already dawdled too long.
Wynonna: All right, so we shoot out the cameras, knock out the elderly volunteer behind the desk, can hop a train a Mexico.
Wynonna: So hot.
Wynonna: Peacemaker, where you at, mama? It’s me, old girl. It’s Wynonna. Peacemaker come.
Nun: Perhaps the weapon is rejecting you because it’s duty to you is complete.
Wynonna: Now you listen to me, god… gosh doink-it. The curse made be broken, but they still need me. All right, everybody still needs me to keep them safe, so this thing between you and I ain’t over until I say it’s over.
Nun: Perhaps it’s time for you to choose a life of peace.
Wynonna: How? When the monsters keep coming and coming, how am I supposed to live a normal life? Why the fuck would I want to?
Doc: We have not been formally introduced.
Holt: I know who you are. You know who I am. So what do you actually want?
Doc: Well, there are more traditional spots for a man like you to wet his whistle.
Holt: I’m not a traditionalist. Look, I just wanted a beer.
Doc: You are a bold sorts. I will give you that, the whole Clanton lot.
Holt: You keep my family’s name out of your mouth, you hear.
Doc: You would be dead before you drew.
Holt: This whole ‘ fastest gunslinger in the west,’ that something you proud of? Shooting people who don’t have a chance to fight back?
Doc: Some people deserve to be shot.
Holt: Who decides that? ‘Cause the history books say one thing; my family says another. So you tell me, do you deserve a bullet or do I? Maybe, I’ll let fate decide.
Doc: Whatever side we fight on, the blood we shed to win the war, will damn us all.
Holt: It’s not a war, Holliday. It’s just a town filled with women who would have us both fight to the death.