Doc: Someone has been handing out hemp neckties.
Wynonna: That’s a clear fashion don’t. Who the hell and why?
Doc: Frontier justice: Retribution must not only be paid. It must be seen to be paid.
Wynonna: The old timey version of ‘pics or it didn’t happen.’

Rachel: Sup?
Waverly: Ah.
Valdez, Rachel Valdez.
Waverly: Hi, I, uh…
Rachel: Cold?
Waverly: Frozen. I mean, I’m practically Elsa. I had no idea you were…
Rachel: Kombucha?
Waverly: Pardon?
Rachel: I make it myself, and after last night, I bet you need some hydration.
Waverly: Mhmmm, microbes.

Doc: It is good to see you, Sheriff Haught.
Nicole: These days it’s just Nicole or that crazy ginger bitch.

Wynonna: Who are you?
Clayborne: You can call me the sheriff.
Wynonna: And you can call me an Uber.

Waverly: How could we have been in that Garden for a year and a half?
Doc: We were not. Time must be differentiated, fluid in some manner.
Waverly: Yeah, god, it’s such a mindfrog. I mean, how old even am I? Ah, I missed so many “Property Brothers.”
Doc: I feel that.

Vacation is over assholes. It is time for a Holliday.

Doc

Waverly: If they think they’re going to lock up my sister for the maybe murder of my favorite sheriff – present company accepted of course…
Nicole: Present company not the sheriff.
Waverly: Yeah, what the hell’s that about?
Nicole: Yeah, you haven’t met the ‘they’ yet.
Waverly: Nicole, I am going to go to town and I am gonna kick so much ass, I might go up a shoe size.
Nicole: God, I missed you, Waverly Earp.

Wynonna: This is a Russian doll of suckage. Inside an arbitrary border, there’s a hellmouth. Inside that’s a demon bush party. Inside that is a jail, and inside that, I’m at the mercy of a Dukes of Hazard reject who wouldn’t know justice if it spatowed him in his butter sculpture face.
Clayborne: Ms. Earp, you have a visitor.
Wynonna: Good. Give me a heads up next time.
Casey: You were in the zone.

Waverly: I am issuing a writ of habeas corpus.
Wynonna: No. These dick pickles are going to have to show us a body.
Waverly: That is literally what habeas corpus means.
Clayborne: You two want to let me know when you’re done slap fighting because I got a hell of a backlog.
Wynonna: Oh, you’ve got a backlog? Buddy, apparently I haven’t pooped in 18 months. I have a backlog.

Cleo: You think that our jails are too crowded and our courts are too slow. Think there’s nothing to do in this lame ass town, think we need a little bit more junk in our trucks?
Wynonna: Is she asking me?
Cleo: And as always, we aim to please, and we’re here to fix any problem you might think that you have. So, lock up your daughters and lube up your saucepans. All our jailbirds will be competing for one – yes, one – get out of jail free card in the first-ever Randy Nedley Memorial Chili Cook-off for Freedom.
Waverly: Is… is this real life?
Wynonna: Might be for you, but I’m dead.

Wynonna: She is grade-A USDA certifiable.
Casey: Hey, just be glad you weren’t here for the ‘Tops Off, Dance Off… for Freedom.’

Rachel [to Doc]: You carried a bottle the whole time you were running? You are goals.
Nicole: No, he is not goals. He needs water.
Rachel: Or maybe he needs…
Doc and Nicole: Don’t say kombucha.

Wynonna Earp Season 4 Episode 3 Quotes

Rachel: Sup?
Waverly: Ah.
Valdez, Rachel Valdez.
Waverly: Hi, I, uh…
Rachel: Cold?
Waverly: Frozen. I mean, I’m practically Elsa. I had no idea you were…
Rachel: Kombucha?
Waverly: Pardon?
Rachel: I make it myself, and after last night, I bet you need some hydration.
Waverly: Mhmmm, microbes.

Doc: Someone has been handing out hemp neckties.
Wynonna: That’s a clear fashion don’t. Who the hell and why?
Doc: Frontier justice: Retribution must not only be paid. It must be seen to be paid.
Wynonna: The old timey version of ‘pics or it didn’t happen.’