Your monkey is sticking its finger into my wound.

Scotty

• Permalink: Your monkey is sticking its finger into my wound.
• Added: March 31, 2016

Oh, we had a chicken like you once. We cut off its head and ate it.

Frankie

• Permalink: Oh, we had a chicken like you once. We cut off its head and ate it.
• Added: March 31, 2016

So this is England. It's pretty.

Rhonda

• Permalink: So this is England. It's pretty.
• Added: March 31, 2016

Woah, have I become the voice of reason now? Marriage has changed me.

Dave

• Permalink: Woah, have I become the voice of reason now? Marriage has changed me.
• Added: March 31, 2016

Last night, I was very drunk in the toilet of the pub, and I had the most incredible experience.

Celine

• Permalink: Last night, I was very drunk in the toilet of the pub, and I had the most incredible...
• Added: March 31, 2016

Paula: What have you been doing with your life?
Dave: I dunno, Angry Birds?

• Permalink: I dunno, Angry Birds?
• Added: March 24, 2016

Everybody has the right to say goodbye.

Scotty

• Permalink: Everybody has the right to say goodbye.
• Added: March 24, 2016

He doesn't even have the little hammer thing!

Rhonda

• Permalink: He doesn't even have the little hammer thing!
• Added: March 24, 2016

I don't have any moms. You got, like, 12 in the last month! How's that fair?

Dave

• Permalink: I don't have any moms. You got, like, 12 in the last month! How's that fair?
• Added: March 24, 2016

I always wanted to visit a convent. This is exactly how I imagined it to be!

Jude

• Permalink: I always wanted to visit a convent. This is exactly how I imagined it to be!
• Added: March 17, 2016

For our daughter, I need you to be a dick!

Layla

• Permalink: For our daughter, I need you to be a dick!
• Added: March 17, 2016

I thought I was doing God's work. But He's out there, not in here.

Jude

• Permalink: I thought I was doing God's work. But He's out there, not in here.
• Added: March 17, 2016