Younger
Thursdays on Paramount+Younger Season 7 Episode 5: "The Last Unicorn" Quotes
Liza: OK.
Lauren: You’re looking at me like I’m the jittery waxer who just ripped off your perineum, and that’s fine. Quinn is coming in to review the marketing plan for “The F Word” at 10. And you can either find out when she saunters in, wearing one of his wrinkled shirts as a minidress, or you can find out from a friend. I came as soon as I heard.
Liza: Thanks, friend.
Liza: Charles was supposed to come, but I guess I’ll just be hanging solo in a room full of judgmental couples.
Lauren: Liza, no. No, no, no, no. Say no more. I’m gonna call my friend Stefan. He staffs bartenders, cater waiters, the hottest men you have ever seen. Now most of them are a Kinsey 6 gay, but they will definitely give you the old grope-a-dope in front of your PTA friends if you tip generously.
Maggie: Lauren, are these sex workers or waiters?
Lauren: Yes, they are.
Kelsey: You handled that so much better than I would if someone was talking about my ex’s sword in a meeting. You do not have to read that book.
Lauren: Oh no.
Liza: It’s well-written, even if a lot of it sounds like bullshit.
Kelsey: Well, it’s a book about failure written by a billionaire. Of course, it’s bullshit.
Charles: I need to apologize to you for what happened in the meeting. I can’t imagine a worse way for you to find that out.
Liza: I’d already seen it in Page Six.
Charles: That’s definitely worse. I’m sorry.
Liza: You know what? It’s none of my business.
Michelle: Oh you must be devastated. Are you devastate?
Liza: Actually, he proposed.
Michelle: You said no?
Liza: I didn’t want to get married again. I don’t even know if I believe in it anymore. It’s a flawed system.
Michelle: Oh honey, you and I can split a bottle of chards and rail against the prison of matrimony on another night that isn't my 20th wedding anniversary party.
Maggie: You have your eye on anything tonight?
Camilla: Sure do.
Maggie: I meant on any pieces.
Camilla: I know what you meant. You are so stunning.
Maggie: You gonna text hot dad?
Liza: I don’t know. Maybe. It was fun seeing him and nice to know that a crush was reciprocated. Sometimes that’s enough.
Maggie: Really that’s enough now?
Liza: I don’t know anything anymore, Maggie.
Maggie: Well, I got something that might be able to help with that. My trick left me a little treat. I don’t know what it does, but it’s French and it’s pink.
Liza: It’s 8 a.m. It’s a little early for recreational drugs.
Lauren: Go ahead Clare, let it all out.
Clare: This is really nice of you guys. I’m actually OK. It was a mature breakup. Rob and I are at different places in our lives, and we’re just not the right fit.
Lauren: A mature breakup? I don’t know her.
Kelsey: Nor me, but good for you.
Clare: Well, now I feel bad. Can we keep day drinking even though I’m not devastated? I already paid the babysitter.
Vince: I was thinking, we’re both in the city, we’re both single, and I have a reservation in SoHo on Monday and no one to go with.
Liza: That sounds really nice actually, but I should be honest with you. I’m not sure I’m ready to be someone’s dance partner right now.
Vince: That’s good because I think I popped my knee out during the Lindy Hop. Listen, I know you just got out of something. All I’m looking for is someone to sit across from me at a nice restaurant.
Liza: A dinner buddy?
Vince: Exactly. You know anything else is just icing. Do you do icing? I really should learn your dietary restrictions if we’re gonna be dinner buddies.
Liza: Yes.
Vince: To dinner or the icing?
Liza: Let’s just start with dinner.
Liza: Can I ask how you and Andrea are doing?
Vince: We’re friendly. My divorce is probably a lot like yours.
Liza: Oh, so you cheated on her and lost all your savings playing blackjack?
Vince: Yikes, not that.
Vince: Do you know how lucky we are to have found each other? Seriously, you’re a unicorn. Most women, when I tell them I don’t want to get married again, they get so upset, but you’re over it. No rings, no strings. Next time we don’t even have to get dinner, buddy/
Liza: I want dinner, Vince.
Vince: Yeah, good, OK, me too.
Liza: I want a relationship. I don’t want to be sleeping around forever. That sounds exhausting.
Vince: OK…
Liza: I want a partner. I want to share my life with someone. I just don’t want to move into his house and become his wife and have my life revolve around his. I mean why is that so hard for him to understand?
Vince: Who?
Liza: My ex who proposed to me out of nowhere at someone else’s wedding.
Vince: And you said no. Why? It sounds like that’s what you wanted, so why couldn’t you just get married?
Liza: Why couldn’t he just not get married? Why did he have to throw everything away over semantics? Why does he get to decide its over just because he didn’t get what he wanted?
Vince: So you’re still in love with him?
Liza: Of course, I’m still in love with him, and I blew it, or he did, or we both did. It doesn’t matter because he’s moved on, and I’m in SoHo at a hot new restaurant with a dinner buddy because I’m what… undateable?
Liza: What were her flaws?
Aiyana: People thought she was cold, a little condescending, elitist, but the biggest one – and this is so stupid and patriarchal I could scream – was that she wasn’t married. People couldn’t reconcile that.
Liza: How was she supposed to fix that?
Aiyana: I literally told her to find a guy with kind eyes and a strong jawline to stand next to her, and she would jump 10 points in the polls. Fifteen, if the guy had a normal looking kid.
Liza: Really? And how did she take that?
Aiyana: Not well, but she ate it pretty hard in that senate race, so if she runs again, when she runs again, I think she’d suck it up and do it.
Liza: Do what?
Aiyana: Recruit a discount Kennedy to walk her across the finish line.
