Gretchen: You know, after I cleaned the fries off your face and put you to bed, you said something to me that was pretty dark.
Jimmy: Mm. Don't tell me.
Gretchen: OK, I won't. [pause] I love you, too.

And I regret going to see The Babadook. It was so scary, you guys!


Jimmy: Did you wear your booby shirt?
Gretchen: Of course I wore my booby shirt!

Becca's like a Monday crossword. Gretchen.. Sunday. Takes all day, but it's rewarding as hell.


Edgar! My confidant. The Grumio to my Petruchio.


Nina: And you date him. Willingly.
Gretchen: The heart is a dumb dumb.

I'm going to get absolutely snozzled.


Jimmy: You're not on antidepressants?
Gretchen: Shit, no. I don't want to lose my edge.

Jimmy: Oh my god!
Nina: What? Oh, stop. Skiing is rough on the feet.
Jimmy: Skiing?! It looks like these things got caught in the gears of a clock!

Some of the most legendary geniuses of our time suffered from depression. David Foster Wallace, Hemingway, Spalding Gray, Boner from Growing Pains...

Sam [to Gretchen]

Gretchen: I'm scraped out. I'm... that car we sent to Mars, flipped upside down so the sun can't reach my solar panels. I've always been able to flip myself back over eventually but... I ran out of times. This is how I am now. And it's not okay with you. Nor should it be.
Jimmy: Okay. I suppose it's good that this happened now, instead of like... ten years down the line.
Gretchen: Yeah...
Jimmy: I'll be back in a couple of days.
Gretchen: I'll be out by the time you get back. Have fun. You deserve it. Whoever she is.

He still just thinks of me as a freeloading veteran with perfect features.


You're the Worst Quotes

Gretchen: Who knows their address?
Jimmy: People. Kidnapped children. This dog I saw on Dateline who rides the bus to the park.

Jimmy: Well you guys have very funny things in your vocabulary as well.
Gretchen: Oh yeah, like what?
Jimmy: "American exceptionalism."
Gretchen: Oh, former colony burn.