Gretchen: You know, after I cleaned the fries off your face and put you to bed, you said something to me that was pretty dark.
Jimmy: Mm. Don't tell me.
Gretchen: OK, I won't. [pause] I love you, too.

And I regret going to see The Babadook. It was so scary, you guys!


Jimmy: Did you wear your booby shirt?
Gretchen: Of course I wore my booby shirt!

Becca's like a Monday crossword. Gretchen.. Sunday. Takes all day, but it's rewarding as hell.


Edgar! My confidant. The Grumio to my Petruchio.


Nina: And you date him. Willingly.
Gretchen: The heart is a dumb dumb.

I'm going to get absolutely snozzled.


Jimmy: You're not on antidepressants?
Gretchen: Shit, no. I don't want to lose my edge.

Some of the most legendary geniuses of our time suffered from depression. David Foster Wallace, Hemingway, Spalding Gray, Boner from Growing Pains...

Sam [to Gretchen]

Jimmy: Oh my god!
Nina: What? Oh, stop. Skiing is rough on the feet.
Jimmy: Skiing?! It looks like these things got caught in the gears of a clock!

I'm sorry during the "Rock of Love" auditions I called you a poor man's Isla Fisher.

Lindsay [to Gretchen]

Gretchen: You stayed?
Jimmy: Yeah.
Gretchen [crying]: You stayed.

You're the Worst Quotes

Gretchen: Who knows their address?
Jimmy: People. Kidnapped children. This dog I saw on Dateline who rides the bus to the park.

Jimmy: Well you guys have very funny things in your vocabulary as well.
Gretchen: Oh yeah, like what?
Jimmy: "American exceptionalism."
Gretchen: Oh, former colony burn.