You're the Worst
Wednesdays 10:30 PM on FXXYou're the Worst Season 2 Episode 2: "Crevasses" Quotes
Sales clerk: Did you find everything you need?
Gretchen: Why. yes I did, thank you. And, like, 20 things I didn't know existed. Little dryer balls that beat the shit out of your clothes? A banana holder? Get off the counter banana, you fancy now. And I'm gonna make my own soda! Can I make champagne? Don't know, gonna try.
Lindsay: That's why you need stuff, Gretch. To stake your claim. Get your shit up in those crevasses. Besides, stuff is the best. You can never get lonely with stuff. And there are so many examples of stuff: ice cube trays shaped like high heels, towels, smaller towels for your butt, chairs, which I guess are also for your butt...
Gretchen: I can't do it, I can't buy stuff.
Lindsay: Why?
Gretchen: It's like my old stuff was just stuff I accrued over time, crap I stole during my shoplifting days, shit I inherited from that old lady who thought I was her granddaughter. And now I have to completely furnish, from scratch, the life of an adult woman and I have no clue how to do that.
Now, before I get into some of your various offensive packages, I'm reminded of when my older brother Salazar took me to see a Raider game. We were so far away but to me it was like being on the field and then he sold cripe to a Charger's fan in the men's room and we used the money to go to Applebee's!
Edgar
Lindsay: I need a bo-hunk. Paul is such a gump. Get this -- he told me the definition of love is putting someone else's needs above yours.
Gretchen: Ew.
Lindsay: I know!
Gretchen: We're adults! We can do this ourselves. Well, I know it involves vodka and tomato juice.
Jimmy: Well, we have a tomato.
Gretchen: I'm sure that's fine. Celery?
Jimmy: We have carrots.
Gretchen: Same thing, basically.
Jimmy: Mayonnaise?
Gretchen: Yeah...
Lindsay: I am learning so much from this game.
Gretchen: What, that the National Air and Space Museum isn't named after some guy named Aaron Space?
