So, why are we here? Why are we doing this? Because I don't wa...

John: So, why are we here? Why are we doing this?
Gabrielle: Because I don't want to wake up one morning with the sudden urge to blow my brains out.
John: Hey, can I have a drag?
Gabrielle: Absolutely not. You're much too young to smoke


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Character:
Gabrielle Solis
Episode:
Desperate Housewives Season 1 Episode 1: "Pilot"
Show:
Desperate Housewives
Related Quotes:
Gabrielle Solis Quotes, Desperate Housewives Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes, Desperate Housewives Quotes
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Desperate Housewives Season 1 Episode 1 Quotes

Lynette: Now listen to me, you are going to behave. I will not be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood. And just so you know that I'm serious, I am. (She pulls out paper)
Porter: What's that?
Lynette: Santa's cell phone number!
Preston: How'd you get that?
Lynette: I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf. And if any of you acts up, so help me I will call Santa and tell him you want socks for Christmas! All right, are you willing to risk that!?

You're the one with the problem, all right. You're the one who's acting she's running for mayor of Stepford.

Andrew
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