Kevin: I have a dark confession to make. After Cheryl’s brush with death this morning, I found a letter in my locker from someone alleging to be, and I can’t believe I’m about to say this, The Black Hood. It’s bad, just look.
[He shows Jughead and the camera the letter]
Kevin: Why would The Black Hood, who was shot dead by my dad, be demanding the role of Carrie be recast?
Jughead: Yeah, it does seem pretty small potatoes for The Black Hood.
Kevin: Still, Jug, you can’t tell anyone about it. As the official documentarian, you’re sworn to secrecy. Also, the show, as they say, must go on.

Jughead: Hello?
Cheryl: How’s the lake house? Are you all settled in and spooning yet?
Jughead: Who is this?
Cheryl: It’s Cheryl, you welfare baby.
Jughead: Is something wrong?
Cheryl: Not yet. I just wanna make sure you know that Archie and Betty kissed in front of my house right before Christmas and it seemed plenty serious, like with tongue serious. That’s all! Enjoy your couples-only weekend, kisses to all. Bye now!
[He hangs up the phone]

FP: It’s done.
Jughead: Jeez, Dad, you reek.
FP: It’s sodium-hydroxide. In a week there will be nothing left...nothing but his teeth.
[He grabs Alice’s hand]
Alice: Thank you, FP. I’m sorry for involving Betty, and that she pulled Jughead into this.
FP: We take care of our own. The circle ends here. No more loose ends.

FP: Penny’s a cobra, but mutilating her...that’s the kinda thing you don’t come back from, Jug.
Jughead: Yeah, like stuffing a teenager’s body in a freezer.
[FP gets frustrated and pushes something]
FP: Keep your mouth shut! Tall Boy was right. You brought the Northside down on us! Serpents are losing their dens because of what you what you wrote.
Jughead: [Jughead throws something] And yourself! You’re using my article, and they’re using what happened to the statue of General Pickens, as an excuse to justify something they’ve already been doing.
FP: What? You think you’re a hero, Jug?! Cutting up women, bringing the temple down right on our damn heads. You...will be the death of us. Not the Northside. Not Penny. You.

Jughead: Why did you do it? Did someone put you up to it?
Tall Boy: Why is the Northsider here? This is Serpent business and this is Serpent land.
Jughead: She’s here because she’s one of us.
FP: You didn’t answer my son’s question. Why did you do it?!
Tall Boy: Because I am tired of seeing the Serpents going soft under your rule. And Hiram Lodge came by and wanted to stir up some trouble, he said if I took the hit he’d get McCoy and the cops to swerve all over us and cause some chaos.
Jughead: So, Hiram Lodge asked you to start a mutiny and you helped him? Why?
Tall Boy: Figured it’d be my change to get rid of you, Sunshine.

Jughead: This town is messed up and it needs to own up to its history.
Toni: My grandfather isn’t some bnroken down victim or some prop for your insane vendetta against the Northside.
Jughead: Of course not!
Toni: Look, I get it. You hate the Northside. You hate that instead of inviting you to a party, they asked you to work it. It triggers all your rage of being born on the wrong side of the tracks. But this!
[She holds up the newspaper]
Toni: This wasn’t your story to tell.
[She leaves]

Principal Weatherbee: Don’t I make myself clear to you, Mr. Jones? Take off that jacket right now or you’re suspended.
Veronica: Please, Jughead, just take off... [Whisper]
Jughead: Then I guess I’m suspended.
[He walks out of the room]

Jughead: “In unity there is strength.”
FP: Oh God.
Jughead: That’s the sixth law! While you were in jail, I recited that every day. I lived by that. You want to take my jacket? You want to relegate me to “Toys for Tots”? Fine! But I’m still a Serpent, Dad. And this...this life that you wanted to protect me from. I’m proud of this. I’m proud of who I am. You can’t take that away from me.

Jughead: Wow, Betty...Mrs. Cooper. You look incredible.
Alice: Tell me about it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t convince this one to dress appropriately. Tall Guy, get me...
[She snaps]
Tall Guy: Tequila, straight up, hold the worm.

Betty: How many times, Jug? How many times are we gonna push each other away?
[She tears up]
Jughead: Until it sticks. That was my dad’s one chance of going straight and I wrecked it! I’m not going to destroy you too.
Betty: Just tell me what happened, Jug. Jug!
[She whispers]
Betty: Don’t leave, please.
Jughead: Go home.
[He walks away]

Jughead: What the hell game where you playing, Penny?! You lied to me. My dad’s fine.
Penny: I incentivized you.
Jughead: No, you said this was going to be a one and done.
Penny: It’s not like you have a choice.
[She shows him the blackmail footage]
Jughead: What is it?
Penny: It’s insurance you do what I say. And if you cause a stink, or try to back out, or raise your voice to me ever again, I will make sure that video goes straight to the Sheriff’s office. God, I imagine what that’ll do to your dad’s heart. Break it, right?
Jughead: Why...why me?
Penny: FP made me a promise that he didn’t keep. And as far as I’m concerned, his debt is yours. And I’m just getting started with you.

Archie: Jughead, calm down.
Jughead: Calm down?! Archie...Riverdale just became a police state.
Archie: Mayor McCoy says the Serpents are the ones dealing jingle jangle.
Jughead: Serpents don’t deal that stuff. The Ghoulies do.
Archie: So tell Mayor McCoy that.
Jughead: Oh, Mayor McCoy...Mayor McCoy just arrested my friends for no reason.

Cole Sprouse Quotes

Betty: Why are you getting so upset? It's just a party, Jug.
Jughead: It's not just a party. It's the fact that you don't know, or even care, that this is the last thing I would want. You did this for you to prove something.
Betty: To prove what?
Jughead: You're a great girlfriend? I don't know. Doesn't it ever occur to you how different we are, like on a cellular DNA level? You're a straight-A student, a cheerleader. For God sakes, you're the perfect girl-next-door.
Betty: I hate that word.
Jughead: I'm the damaged, loner outsider from the wrong side of tracks. Betty, come on, who are we kidding?! We're on borrowed time.

Betty: I should've told you about Chuck, but I lied. And instead threw you this party you didn't want.
Jughead: Why did you?
Betty: Something is very...very wrong with me. Like, there's this darkness in me that's overwhelming. Sometimes I don't know where it comes from, but I think that's what makes me do things.