Toni: I’m sorry you won’t get to be prom queen, babe. I know how important it was to you.
Cheryl: It’s okay, Ti Ti. Edgar gave me something better than a queenship: humility.
Toni: You can’t mean that.
[Cheryl sighs]
Cheryl: No, you’re right. I can’t and I don’t, and suddenly being a “Farmie” is making a lot less sense to me.

Cheryl: Good morning, my dear Riverdale High constituents and comrades. A lot of you have been asking about The Farm’s student advocacy group. Well, here’s the skinny: Sign-up sheets are posted throughout the school; the club is open to all students. Where the one becomes many, and the many becomes one. So, uncap those pens, sharpen those pencils, and sign up. A little birdie told me it’s what all the cool kids are doing

Kevin: Given how much dancing there is in Heathers, Evelyn and I felt that we should bring on a choreographer. So, give a big Heathers "hello" to Riverdale’s very own Fly Girl, Toni Topaz!
[Everyone claps as Toni walks onto the stage]
Cheryl: Ummm … does anyone have a chainsaw? Because WHAT. THE. F…!

Cheryl: Ummm, did you have a lobotomy for breakfast? You’re wearing my signature color!
Toni: You don’t own the color red. Red existed before you.
Cheryl: Not at Riverdale High. Here, I invented red. I am red.
[Cheryl snaps her fingers and two girls stand behind her]
Cheryl: Sorry, but this school is not big enough for the both of us, faux-pink lady. And I was here first. Go to Centerville High or Westerberg, I don’t care. But you have until first bell Monday to clear every trace of yourself out of these halls. Copy?
[Cheryl flips her hair in Toni’s face and walks away]

Toni: Cheryl, I love you. And yet, I can’t spend all my time cooped up in that house and in your bedroom.
Cheryl: Our bedroom!
Toni: That’s exactly it, it doesn’t feel like our bedroom. It’s entirely yours ... your space.
Cheryl: It sounds, Toni, that you regret moving in with me.
Toni: Well maybe it was too soon? Too fast.
Cheryl: In that case, maybe you moving out is exactly what needs to happen!
[Cheryl walks away]

Toni: Babe, you wear many hats.
Cheryl: Stunningly.
Toni: But when you put on that purple jacket, you represent our gang. And now Weatherbee is out for our blood!
Cheryl: I can handle Weatherbee.
Toni: Cheryl, I don’t want to have to suspend anyone for loose cannon behavior. Least of all my own girl friend.

Sweet Pea: Look, girls, we don’t want any trouble from your little sorority.
Cheryl: Don’t call us “girls,” and don’t belittle us.
Fangs: Or what? You’re going to challenge us to a pillow fight?
[Awkward silence]
Sweet Pea: Seriously Cheryl, what is this?
Cheryl: We’re the Pretty Poisons, Pea Brain. And we’re here to deliver a message to you and your leader that we are not to be dismissed or trifled with.
[Cheryl starts walking away and the Pretty Poisons move forward]
Cheryl: Ladies, introduce yourselves...
Fangs: Hey, take it easy.
Sweet Pea: We don’t want any trouble.
[The Pretty Poisons beat up Fangs and Sweet Pea]

Kevin: Well, there’s this guy and we’ve been having problems...
Cheryl: Moose, you mean?
[Kevin is stunned]
Cheryl: Please, I have eyes. I saw you lounging together at my pool party looking like a community theater production of the Talented Mr. Ripley. The Moose ship has been trouble from the gay get-go. Maybe it’s time you move on?
Kevin: I can’t go back to Fox Forest.
Cheryl: Oh, sullen tender-hearted Kevin. I’m not talking about cruising, I’m talking about Bumble.

Cheryl: You can stay here for as long as you like. Even ... permanently?
Toni: You mean, like, move in with you?
Cheryl: I’m cuckoo bananas for you, Humphy. Won’t you move in?
Toni: As long as I’m the big spoon.
[They kiss on the bed]

Penelope: I’ve heard of this game before. We shouldn’t play it; it doesn’t belong to us anyway.
[FP takes the game from her]
FP: “Gryphons and Gargoyles.” I thought this was an urban legend.
Fred: I heard some kids have been playing it at Seaside.
Hermione: I heard one of them had a heartache and died.
[Betty takes the game from FP]
Alice: In that case, we definitely have to play it. Right?

Veronica: Serpettes, have either of you seen Jughead? I have a problem that his name scribbled all over it.
Cheryl: You mean True Detective?
[Veronica nods]
Cheryl: He’s busy canoodling Nancy Drew no doubt. How can we help?

Cheryl: Greeting chums! I wanted to let you know that after the three *amazing* months I just had with Toni riding our motorcycles cross-country, we’re celebrating with an epic end-of-summer pool party at Thornhill. And you’re all invited! Of course, given the fact that Archie will most likely walking the green mile while the rest of us are walking the stage at graduation, I understand if you’re not up for it. Invite whoever you want, but give them fair warning: I’m in the mood for some hell-raising. Tootles!

Madelaine Petsch Quotes

Betty: I think a part of me has been in love with Archie for 10 years, Cheryl.
Cheryl: False. You’ve been in love with the idea of Archie. The idea of the perfect romance. That wasn’t real, that was fantasy. In this town of nightmares, you and Jughead found each other. That’s real. That’s maybe even, dare I say, endgame? Who knows?

Betty: Why are you asking me so many questions about Polly? Cheryl?!
Cheryl: Because, you dumb cow, someone shot my brother and I think it was your crazy tweaked-out sister.