I’m small town to big city. My killer instinct always gets me what I want.

Hermione

Sounds to me like you two are planning a hostile takeover. I am so in!

Hermione

Hermione: See, I’ve also decided to make a life change.
Hiram: To do what exactly?
Hermione: Three years ago, Andy Cohen asked me to become a Real Housewife of New York; I turned him down to focus on my family. Remember? But really, Veronica, I did it to protect you. Honey, the ONLY reason I got back together with your father in the first place was to keep you safe, but now you’re going off to college and Hermosa is back in the picture. So, I really don’t see any point to put my ambitions on hold anymore.
Hermione: So, Hiram, I’m divorcing you. I’m moving back to the city and I’m becoming a Real Housewife, for real.
Veronica: Wow Mom, you win!
[Veronica taps Hiram]
Veronica: But do take that trip to the Caymans, Daddy. You need a break from Riverdale and Riverdale most definitely needs a break from you.

Hiram: I want to come home.
Hermione: You don’t live here anymore. Just … stop. Veronica and I are finally free of you.
Hiram: Is that what freedom looks like? Playing hostess at a teenager’s gin joint.
[Hiram takes off his shirt]
Hiram: Let me back in. You won’t have to work another day ever again. You’ll be my wife again.
Hermione: Over my dead body.
Hiram: That can be arranged.
[Hermione slaps Hiram]
Hiram: Was that foreplay or punishment?

Hermione: We’re not really taking this seriously, are we?
Tom: I think we have to assume this is real for our kids’ sake.
Hermione: And then what? We’re just supposed to leave them home alone all night while we run around pretending to be teenagers again?
Alice: May I remind you what happened last Ascension Night? Someone ended up dead!
Penelope: We don’t have any choice in the matter. We all know why this is happening again ... and now. Two members of the original Midnight Club are daring to get married, to be happy. And the Gargoyle King, whoever and whatever he is, wants to destroy that. He is a vicious and petty god, and if we don’t finish the game now, the Gargoyle King is never going to leave us alone.

Hermione: Okay, Veronica. First of all, I sincerely hope that you don’t think I’m capable of...
Veronica: I don’t know what to believe anymore! Which is why I’m leaving this house of horrors while I still can. Maybe you should too.
Hermione: He’s my husband.
Veronica: Right, well, you and Daddy can pop open a bottle of Cristal because he finally did. He finally won. He finally drove Archie and me away for good.
[Veronica leaves the room with her bag]

Hermione: Alice! We promised each other we would never talk about this. I mean, who else did you tell?!
Alice: I only told Betty to protect her, so she wouldn’t play the game
Betty: And it worked, I’m not playing the game. But many of your kids are; this is about protecting your kids. Do you care?
Sierra: Care?! Josie had a seizure this morning. I should be with her right now, not here rehashing the past when it has zero relevance.
Betty: Attorney McCoy, it is relevant! Your daughter is playing the game. Along with Kevin and Cheryl, and even your son Reggie, Mr. Mantle. No matter how many black eyes you give him.
Marty: I would never hit my son.
Betty: Another lie.

Fred: Was it close at least?
Hermione: Very. Less than 200 hundred votes.
Sierra: So what? You came to gloat?
Hermione: No, Sierra, I came to tell Fred that he ran a great campaign.
[She offers her hand and they shake hands]

Veronica: Daddykins, care to comment on the rumors that you’ve been having meetings with Claudius and Penelope Blossom in their barn?
Hiram: Certainly. I’m looking to diversity Lodge Industries holdings by possibly getting into the maple trade.
Veronica: So, it’s not that you enlisted Claudius to impersonate The Black Hood and take pot shots at Mom during the town hall debate?
Hermione: Veronica, have you lost your mind?!
Hiram: Your imagination is getting the better of you.
Veronica: Maybe, maybe not. But, I don’t think any of us in this room can deny that it’s at least possible that you’d put Mom in the crosshairs to pursue some personal political agenda

[Hiram walks in worried. Hermione and Veronica sitting quietly at a table]
Hermione: There’s another dead body in the study.
Veronica: It’s your mess, Daddy. You clean it up.

Veronica: Mom. Sheriff Pinada.
Hermione: Veronica, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at home with Andre.
Veronica: Andre’s in the car. We had to make a detour.
[Veronica looks at the Black Hood bounty sign]
Veronica: Good lord, Mom. Are you and Daddy trying to turn Riverdale into Gotham City?

Hermione: What’s all this?
Veronica: It’s ransom money. Not for Archie, I got him back. No, this is from when I turned the tables on Nick and held for ransom instead. His parents gave me a cool million for my trouble.
Hiram: I told you I was handling the St. Clairs.
Veronica: Funny enough, they hadn’t heard boo about Archie’s kidnapping, but I’ll leave that to you to explain to Archie. He’s in the study waiting for you.

Marisol Nichols Quotes

Mrs. Lodge: When your father was arrested, he made you a legal officer of Lodge Industries. Surprise! And two out of three signatures are needed to override the contract, which your father wants to give to a less than legit outfit.
Veronica: And you want my help to give it to your boyfriend? [Scoffs] I was going to apologize to you. If I sign that, will you stop seeing Fred Andrews?
Mrs. Lodge: Honey, I can't agree to that.
Veronica: Then that case, Mom, I'm sorry, but no. However, you're rationalizing what you're doing with Archie's dad, I don't want any part of it.
[She leaves]
[Hermione forges Veronica's signature]

Mrs. Cooper: Hermoine Lodge. Park Ave Princess to cater waiter.
Mrs. Lodge: Alice Cooper. No longer lactose intolerant, I see.
Mrs. Cooper: How's Veronica? Oh, you don't even know, do you? The things they're saying about your daughter at school?
Mrs. Lodge: What things?
Mrs. Cooper: Slut-shaming. It's what they call it when sluts get shamed.