Everyone's having a good time, everyone's gettin' along in the house. But, once again, one step forward, two step backs.

Sammi: Don't you touch anybody.
Ronnie: I didn't touch anybody like that.
Sammi: I saw it, you f*%king idiot.
Ronnie: On who?
Sammi: You.
Ronnie: On who did I touch like that?
Sammi: You tell me, bro. You f*%king did it.

I hope you have a f*%king book for the apology you have to f*%kin' write me in the morning... cry all you f*%kin' want, your tears don't mean shit to me. Your tears mean d!ck to me, just so you know.

I don't get an apology... or I'm sorry, not a hug or nothin'... I get a piece a pizza, not a f*%kin' protein shake, you bring me pizza, of all things... REALLY?!

[on JWoww] She sees her ex-boyfriend and then calls her boyfriend, but I'm the dirtbag? Come on, bro ... She's just a shady bitch.

(to Deena) I'm single as they come and if I had a girlfriend I wouldn't be here with you.

Fake Ronnie

Sammi: Look me in the face, and all the skeletons, lay it out right now, because I know.
Ronnie: What do you know?
Sammi: Everything
Ronnie: What is (bleeping) everything? What do you know?
Sammi: Tell me right now. Tell me.
Ronnie: Tell me what you know. I'm not (bleeping) doing this with you.
Sammi: Tell me.

I need a mind condom because I'm being mind f*%ked.

Enough with the family sh!t, Mike!

Sammi: What would you do if you were me right now?
Ronnie: Look it. I'm here for you. Come here. Look at me.
Sammi: You don't know what I'm going through right now.
Ronnie: I do. Don't tell me I don't ... I'm madly in love with you. I want to be there for you.
Sammi: Why?
Ronnie: Because you're my girlfriend. Really, like, we've come this far. See what happens?
Sammi: Okay.

Listen bitch, you don't f*%kin' know me, you're in my f*%kin' house!

Snooki walks in the door with this Gremlin look-a-like and she says she's the new roommate.

Ronnie Magro Quotes

Mike would bang a Gatorade bottle if it had a pulse.


I was trying to put you in the equation. Like, you, in the equation!