Bernadette: I think the woman can manage to put a wig on by herself.
Howard: It's not just the wig, it's pinning her hair up, it's putting on her eyebrows...it's a two person job.

Howard: I'm not having this conversation with you Ma!
Howard's Ma: God forbid you get one of those new fancy sex diseases!

Leonard: Still arguing which is the best CSI?
Howard: We agreed they all have their merits.

I think it's like Beetlejuice. We said his name too many times.

Howard

That crazy bastard is looking at quirky in the rear view mirror.

Howard

TBBT Quotes

It's very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and, as it always has, rock crushes scissors

Sheldon

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.