I'm standing here in my skintight briefs. I look like a total tool.

I look like a total tool, the spray tan is freezing cold, but I know that it's gonna be for a good cause, I'm gonna get tanned. Pain is beauty.

Vinny: Are you fully gay?
Girl: No.
Vinny: Awesome.

Snooki wants to have sex with me, meanwhile she gets with a kid the night before .. get the hell outta here.

Dominican girls are hot 'cause they can dance, they can move, they got tans, they got big butts, nice full lips, they got that flavor an Italian guy needs.

[on Snook] I care about her too much to let her smash two nights.

Rivoli's... Rivoli's... where you can get canolis.

We realize that there's no help for them. I thought it was gonna get better, but then you realize they just love to fight with each other, so let 'em go.

Hell has to be just like this.

Gina: You might be able to cuddle, that's about it.
Vinny: I love cuddling. That's my favorite!

It's not that sturdy ... like no fat girls can go on it, but it would be pretty funny.

You're gonna come into my house and try to take her away? What is this f*%kin' Romeo and Juliet? The Capulet's and the f*%kin' whatever?

Vinny Guadagnino Quotes

Guys with the blow-outs and the fake tans, and guys that wear lip gloss and makeup, those aren't guidos, those are retards.


I don't give a f**k if you're fat, you're ugly, you're 45 years old. I'll dance with ya. I think it's hilarious.