Favorite Zooey Deschanel Quotes
Nick: I believe horses are from outer space--
Jess: I believe that, too!
Destiny might be a lady, but victory has a penis.
Schmidt
Jess: Where are your nipples, man?
Schmidt: I'll never tell!
I wish I knew what was going on in Nick's head. He's like a...grumpy mystery.
Jess
So, would you like to freak?
Jess
What happened to guys in this bar? Did they open a bus station next door?
Jess
When did you become a Bond villain who can't afford to not live with roommates?
Jess
Jess: If we're all really honest with ourselves, isn't it all about the gonads? Am I right, ladies?
Ladies: No!
Jess: Oh my god! I thought he was taking you to jail!
Nick: Naw, it's resort jail, and it's not so bad. They let me watch "Ugly Betty."
Just remember, you caught him pleasuring himself to a mail-order steak catalog.
Jess
Nick: It's Schmidt we're talking about here. After we saw the movie "Titanic," he started the Billy Zane Fan Club.
Jess: What?!
Nick: Look it up. They're called Zane-iacs.
Jess: I didn't really know your dad, except for that one hour when I committed fraud with him.
Nick: That's all there is to know.
