Jake [about Joanie]: That girl's really annoying.
Alan: I think maybe she has a crush on you.
Jake: Well, yeah! That's what's annoying.
Alan: You don't really like girls yet huh?
Jake: No, I like girls, I'm just not into eight-year-olds

Alan Harper, Jake Harper
Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16: "That Was Saliva, Alan"
Two and a Half Men
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Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 16 Quotes

Jake: Hey. I'm gonna go play in my room.
Joanie: Can I come with you?
Jake: Whatever.
Charlie: If he can just keep that attitude for another thirty years, he's gold

Alan: So what grade are you in, Joanie?
Joanie: Second.
Alan: Ah. Cool. I have a little boy who's in fourth.
Joanie: So?
Alan: Oh......well, I thought it would be relevant to the conversation.
Charlie: No matter how old they are, you still strike out. You know, Joanie, you're just as pretty as your mom.
Joanie: So?
Alan: I bow to the master