Travis: My mom’s at the grocery store, and my dad is golfing.
Vic: And you’re yelling at me because…
Travis: Because my dad’s not golfing.
Vic: Oh, right.
Travis: Honestly, I don’t know what makes me more mad – the closeted gay sex, the cheating on my mom, or the putting others at risk.
Vic: Do you, do you think your mom knows?
Travis: That my dad’s cruising for guys online and calling it golfing? I… dear god I hope not.
Vic: Are you going to tell her?
Travis: Why would I tell her?
Vic: If my husband were screwing around I would want to know.
Travis: Hey ma, how you doing it? It smells good in here. Uh quick FYI, dad’s been secretly playing with penises outside your marriage, and oh my god, why would I say ‘playing with penises’ when referencing my father?
Vic: I… I don’t know why you would ever say that.