The most sacred thing I do is care. And provide for my workers, my family. I give them money. I give them food. Not directly, but through the money. I heal them. Today I am in charge of picking a great new healthcare plan. Right, that's what this is all about. Does that make me their doctor? Um... yes. In a way. Yeah, like a specialist.

Michael

Unrated
Character:
Michael Scott
Episode:
The Office Season 1 Episode 3: "Health Care"
Show:
The Office
Related Quotes:
Michael Scott Quotes, The Office Season 1 Episode 3 Quotes, The Office Quotes
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The Office Season 1 Episode 3 Quotes

In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, 'Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me. I'm dead.' Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion. You're dead.

Dwight

Dwight: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam: Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?
Dwight: So I can lower it.