Mouch: I’m a fellow public servant, working out of Firehouse 51. Anyway, we were at the scene of an accident yesterday with one of your colleagues, and I seem to have inadvertently brought this back to the station with me on the sole of my boot.
Postal worker: Sir, I cannot accept this item from you without an address or proper postage.
Mouch: Right, but look here. Someone already paid for the postage.
Postal worker: There’s no address on this item.
Mouch: But don’t you have some sort of dead letter office?
Postal worker: That is strictly for items already within the postal system. I cannot accept this item from you without an address and proper postage, sir.
Mouch: You know what the problem is here?
Postal worker: That your item doesn’t have an address or proper postage?
Mouch: No, no. The problem is a chronic lack of respect for written correspondence, a dereliction of the solemn vow you made that neither snow nor rain nor gloom of night would stop you … however, it goes.
Postal worker: Next.