This morning I put oatmeal on my fingernails because I thought it was nail polish.

Leslie: When you travel, are you practicing social distancing?
Ron: I’ve been practicing social distancing since I was 4 years old. Why are you at work?
Leslie: Well, I shut down every national park in my jurisdiction -- sad but necessary. And then I volunteered for several committees to help us get through this.
Ron: Did you also create those committees?
Leslie: I did. So many committees Ron. I’m chairing all of them. It’s every girl’s dream, but you know, between that and the kids, I’m only getting two hours of sleep instead of my usual four. This morning I put oatmeal on my fingernails because I thought it was nail polish.


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Parks and Recreation Season 8 Episode 0: "A Parks and Recreation Special"
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Parks and Recreation
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Parks and Recreation Season 8 Episode 0 Quotes

Ben: The most incredible thing happened. OK, so today I’m cleaning the house and get dizzy from the cleaning supplies, and then I homeschool the kids -- but they don’t learn anything because of the dizziness. But then I had the most amazing idea. Do you remember this guy?
Leslie: Oh no.
Ben: Ah, but here’s the twist. Do you also remember this?
Leslie: Oh no, oh, no, no, no. Oh no, no, no.
Ben: Six words babe: Cones of Dunshire the Claymation movie. The entire story just popped into my head. This humble little nobody, living his life, walking around on a random Tuesday when suddenly he finds out from an ancient scroll that he is actually the Ledgerman.
Leslie: Honey, did you put all the caps back on the cleaning supplies?
Ben: Now, the title is either “Cones of Dunshire: The Ledgerman’s Ascent” or, of course, “Cones of Dunshire: The Curse of the Arbadoo’s Prophecy.”

Hi, my name’s Bobby Newport, and as you can see I’m in Switzerland at my family’s private hunting estate, but I haven’t caught any yet. They’re so fast. You get close, and it’s like, zoom, they’re gone.

Bobby Newport

Parks and Recreation Season 8 Episode 0 Photos

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  2. This morning I put oatmeal on my fingernails because I thought it was nail polish.